Defintion of high maintenance

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Defintion of high maintenance
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Fri, 04-06-2007 - 6:28pm
There was a post on another part of this same board about what is considered high maintenance in dating and relationships. I thought I would post again about this up here in the main part to see what everyone else thinks since it's an interesting topic.
What is your defination of high maintenance? What are the characteristics of women who are this way? I know a lot of people will have different answers so this should be interesting.
These are my thoughts on it:
When I think of high maintenance I think of women that don't want to do anything outdoorsy or any sports because they might break a nail. Women who expect their boyfriends to buy them all this nice jewelry and expensive clothing and take them to nice restaurants frequently and if they don't get what they want they throw a fit. Also women who dont' understand if their boyfriend can't call them back right away or can't hang out every minute of every day and expect him to drop everything and anything for her at all times, not considering their feelings. That's what I consider high maintence.


Edited 4/6/2007 6:29 pm ET by biochic2004

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 12:06pm
I wasn't really trying to say that fashion or sports labels someone as high maintenance. Maybe that came out wrong in my first post. I guess maybe being way over the top closed minded to trying anything. Like if someone was always wanting to stay in and never experience certain kinds of things. Kind of like those actresses who always have to wear the top of the line brands of clothing and would thumb their noses up at someone who wore anything that costs less and who never would be caught dead getting their hands dirty doing anything. I consider people who always thumb their noses up at lots of different things without even trying it as being high maintenance. But I like I said, this is totally my opinion. But... that isn't the only thing that constitutes HM for me. I agree also with iridiumite's definition of someone who needs to be validated by others very often and emotionally insecure, always wanting things from others and if they don't get it they get upset.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 12:12pm
ITA with you on this one. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look nice when you go out and taking time to do makeup and changing an outfit here and there but if you have to make others wait for hours before you are ready then I consider that HM and just being picky and very particular in general with foods, places to go to eat, never happy with any sort of decision on where to go out is HM to me. BUT like I said totally my opinion and others might not see being very picky as being high maintanence
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 1:11pm

I think it's hard to put actresses and normal people in the same category, I really do. Most normal people cannot afford 1,000 dollar purses or if they want them they have to save for awhile or put themselves into some serious debt to get it. Actresses don't, so they can afford to buy the highest end, also most of them make their living on looking good so they are caught up in that lifestyle due to the job. But when you see pictures of them out and about on a regular day sometimes they are dressed down and looking pretty shabby even if their sweatpants are high end.

So I don't know that the comparison can really be made. I might not really care too much about paying a little more for something if I had a large bank account too, whereas now I'm very aware of the amount I spend for something.

But whose to say someone is being close minded about something, maybe they HAVE tried something and they don't like it?? Maybe they've tried camping, or sports or whatever and they know they don't like it??? I used to camp when I was a kid and now Its just not my cup of tea, now sports, I do like sports so that would be fine but if someone asked me to go camping in a tent, ummm no not my idea of fun, if they wanted to go fishing, GREAT I love to go fishing. But we need to at least have a cabin. No tents just doesn't interest me, I need a bathroom that I'm not sharing with 50 other people if you want to do it, have at it, I'm not saying anyone else can't go camping it's just not something that interests me, I'm not thumbing my nose at campers I just don't like it.
Thumbing your nose at other "people" makes you a snob in my book. LOL

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 2:11pm
I wasn't thumbing my nose up at those that don't like camping. I know plenty of people who dont' like it or who would rather camp in an RV and not outside and understand and am still friends with them without judging. I guess I'm not really relaying what I mean clearly. I think it's just those women who expect so much materialistically from their significant others and never are satisfied that I think are HM which could probably be because they are unhappy within themselves which leads us back to the emotionally insecure person so maybe this is the root of it. I know I can't put actresses in the same catergory, I was just merely trying to give an extreme case of things and I know that there have been people who have tried things and dont' like it and am not judging those people. You definately don't sound like an HM person to me based on my definition.
People who are never satisfied with things are high maintanence and always have to have it their way or the highway. I guess that's the best way to describe what I'm trying to portray.


Edited 4/9/2007 2:43 pm ET by biochic2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 2:50pm

Yes than we would agree on that, someone who has to have things their way, inconvenience others time by taking too long etc. or being late and expecting everyone to cater to their whims.

I guess I just don't see where fashion or camping fit into that. LOL

I know you aren't thumbing your nose at any of that, I'm not sure where you got from my post that I implied you were.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 3:05pm

"Thumbing your nose at other "people" makes you a snob in my book." LOL

I thought that this was the comment at the end of your post that you were thinking that I was thumbing my nose against people who don't like to camp or things like that but now I know that it was a comment to people in general and not to me lol, miscommunication via writing.
I see what you mean about thumbing your nose at others just because they don't like something and that being snobby in it's own right and I agree with that.
I think when I posted those examples at the beginning that it might have got misconstrued into the way people dress or if they don't like sports or what not when I didn't mean it THAT way. I guess what I was really trying to say was people who are hard to please. I think iridiumite stated it in a "more concise" way in her post.
Hard to communicate over writing in posts sometimes because you can't hear tones of voices or really get across what you mean sometimes LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 3:32pm

I do think that sometimes men who meet women who won't do things like go camping or other stuff that's not "girly" are high maintenance...but I can also see the point of that being different than someone who is high maintenance by other definitions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 4:19pm
Yes I meant the general you, not you biochic sorry.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 4:21pm

Yes they are exhausting.

Someone who drains me I consider high maintenence and not if they drain me from a night romping int he bedroom. LOL

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 5:59pm
Hahaha That might be a little too high maintenance for me, too. LOL I'm not a "marathon girl" by any means. Believe it or not, I like it short and sweet. (Not TOO short, though). ;)













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