Do All Women Want Children?
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Do All Women Want Children?
| Mon, 10-03-2005 - 5:05pm |
I have a few basic questions that I would really like to get some peoples' perspectives on. When answering, can you please state if the answer you give is how you think most women feel, if the opinions are your own personal beliefs, etc? Thanks.
1.Do most women want to have children?
2.Why is it so important to have children?
3.If a guy said upfront that he ABSOLUTELY did not want kids, do you think most women would pass him by?
Kind of curious here. I know people who are of varying mindsets on this issue. Thanks.

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***Hmmm this is interesting... I'm surprised how many of us don't want children (or in my case aren't sure) - why do you think that is?
Have you all ALWAYS felt that way or do you think it's a product of being single for so long and getting set in our ways and selfish-type lifestyles? Do you think it's because we've not met a guy that just made us want a child with him... meaning I don't think I want children but if I met the love of my life would I WANT to have his baby?***
I was just noticing the same thing - shocking! Personally, I have gone back and forth on this issue over the course of my life. When my first nephew was an infant, I thought that I might want kids. Then, when he became a toddler and spent 4 days with me, I really started to doubt it. But I do think that I might not be so attached to my free-wheeling ways if I had not reached age 32 still single. There was one man that I was completely head over heels in love with and I definitely wanted to have his babies. But, I had been considering it at that point in my life anyway.
Who knows? Maybe someone will change my mind.
I think it does have a lot to do with being single for so long.
I've decided for myself that it is almost cruelty to have kids because it is so difficult to live these days. Although I like kids and when I am in my 40's I might think about having foster kids.
I think most people want kids because they want to feel a sense of family connection. I just think that families are so stressed these days that it is hard to actually have that happy sense of family life that a lot of us really would like.
Just my thoughts.
1.Do most women want to have children?
I would say that yes, most women want to have children.
2.Why is it so important to have children?
Well if you think about it the whole point of our existence is to procreate. It all boils down to sex and the point of sex is to have children.
3.If a guy said upfront that he ABSOLUTELY did not want kids, do you think most women would pass him by?
I don't know about most women, but a clear headed woman who wants children should pass him by.
Just as an FYI - since you didn't ask... I actually am unsure as to whether I want children, I most likely will not have them and am very happy with that.
It is interesting how the answers here seem to differ somewhat from what I perceive society to think. I suppose these boards draw a more upscale type audience, perhaps? I guess owning a computer makes you upscale? Maybe we just care about things enough to solicit advice? According to what many of you said, as well as what I perceive to be true, it appears that the following are accurate(sorry, but I like lists with numbers, it’s a weakness of mine!):
1.If a guy ever had a vasectomy or knew he is sterile and is incapable of producing kids, he is completely hopeless and all women would give him the heave ho!
2.A guy must remain fertile to have any chance of being with a woman(same as above, but stated differently.)
3.A guy pretty much has zero choice when it comes to whether or not kids will show up.
4.A guy who is unwilling to accept that women want to have kids gets to look forward to a life of isolation, being alone.
All of these choices have their pluses and minuses. I personally know people who have really messed their lives up by making less than stellar decisions.
I must agree with the comment that it is hard enough taking care of yourself, these days. I do feel that way, myself. Life today seems to be drastically harder than it has ever been. It was always tough, but it seems that in the past many things were better and easier. I really do not know if I can ever be successful at dating, since I have a dismal track record. The last thing I want to ever do is have some unplanned “souvenirs” to remember a failed relationship. I like to be responsible and knowledgeable about what I am doing and what other people think. When are those male birth control pills coming out? I’ll be dead by then, probably!
I think that the kid thing is a huge sacrifice, though. If a guy wants a fancy TV or better car, that’s one thing(many women can compromise on stuff like that), but a guy being led into signing up for one, or perhaps several kids is another matter, entirely. You have a lifelong commitment, there, in multiple ways.
The biggest fear I have is figuring out a lot of this stuff, but having it be too late. The trick is that you want to understand stuff in time for it to actually help you. I am not getting any younger. I did like the Star Wars episode where people were born old and got younger with time, that was pretty neat!
One thing I would never do is lead someone on. I always believe in putting all cards on the table. I would rather be honest and pay the price, than lie to obtain something improperly. I guess that is a good trait?
I am not trying to be mean with any of this, but I am curious about it. Are the above numbered points right on then? They seem to be.
1.If a guy ever had a vasectomy or knew he is sterile and is incapable of producing kids, he is completely hopeless and all women would give him the heave ho!
**I don't think this is necessarily true.
Shy, you always say it so well!!!
There is no anger intended, so I apologize that it came across that way. I also didn’t want to come across as being out in left field, either.
I am just trying to sort stuff out here. I don’t date very often and never really have. I would like to, but don’t really know if I can make it work. I have two big obstacles to overcome. The first is finding enough time to do it. That likely sounds stupid, but I honestly do not understand how people fit all of this dating into their lives. The second is job stability. I’ve been through several layoffs, due to closings and things like that. It is scary to not know if you have a job, week to week. If I had time and stability, all of this would be much easier. As far as the issue of kids, I was just wondering about that. I have heard conflicting stories over the years, so I wanted some additional insight. You can make huge mistakes, if you have kids too early or unintentionally, so it’s good to be as smart as possible about it.
I also need to understand how women feel about different things too, so I know what to expect, better than I currently do. The main reason for me being on here is to learn as much about women as I can(I do read other postings and sometimes offer some of my opinions, too.) Then if I do put some serious effort into dating, I can know what to do, as well as what not to do. That is quite valuable. It is important to remember that if you have a whole lot of dating experience, you will perceive things differently than I do. So to me what seems like an innocent question, others may find to be offensive, or whatever.
Basically, it comes down to this: if you’ve dated a lot, you have a good handle on how to date, what you want, what you think others want, etc. I don’t have a lot of that and am trying to figure it out. A woman would really have her hands full with me. Although, that could be good, because I have not been corrupted by anyone else. And they do say that bad habits are hard to break!
There is no easy button for life, but that would be nice! I got an A in college Calculus, but I suppose I would qualify for an F in dating. Dating is much harder.
How the heck did you reach those conclusions, when so many of us said we didn't want to have kids or at least weren't sure about it?
Sheri
To be completely honest (and I don't want to sound mean, just honest), I think you need to lighten up...a lot.
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