Do good guys attract bad girls?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Do good guys attract bad girls?
5
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 10:36pm

First off, I don't mean "bad girls" as in a girl who you want to avoid, but as in more edgy, sexual, non-conformist, and maybe more prone to make the first move than wait for the guy? Like the female version of a "bad boy?"

I try, but I have little to no confidence in my ability to approach and ask girls out. Whenever I do, I cannot pull it off smoothly or charmingly, and as a result, I can never get a girl interested in me. I get a lot of flakes, cancelled dates, phone calls that are never returned and it's really taking it's toll on my confidence. I can never develope that "badboy" edge that girls want.

If there are girls like these, how do you find them? Are there girls who get off with "corrupting" sheepish, inexperienced guys?

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:35pm

Maybe older women? I'm not sure. Sorry I was not of much help. Maybe some other posters will have more insight. However, you should know, confidence is key. Even an older woman will not want to "corrupt" someone who lacks self confidence. Insecurity is just not sexy. If you are not yet there with your confidence, I suggest faking it until you take the necessary steps in order to gain some.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 12:17am

Hi,
I feel your pain because I have gotten burned by some "bad" ones too but honeslty who really knows where to meet someone. What I have heard is that people meet people through doing things they love. Do you have any hobbies that you like to do? I havent tried online dating but you may want to see if you can find someone suited to you and not someone just looking to exploit you to make themselves feel better.

I guess bad boys and girls just go for as many people as they can burn. They are like the "cool" kids in high school--they put you down to feel like they are better. But I really think there are some good girls out there. I think if you just keep ging forward and always be social and take friends up on invitations or throw your own party and have your friends invite friends of theirs...just be yourself and be out there but now that you have seen the "badgirl" you know what to avoid...

Best of luck to you!
Diva

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 12:43am

>>>Hi,
I feel your pain because I have gotten burned by some "bad" ones too but honeslty who really knows where to meet someone. What I have heard is that people meet people through doing things they love. Do you have any hobbies that you like to do? I havent tried online dating but you may want to see if you can find someone suited to you and not someone just looking to exploit you to make themselves feel better.

I guess bad boys and girls just go for as many people as they can burn. They are like the "cool" kids in high school--they put you down to feel like they are better. But I really think there are some good girls out there. I think if you just keep ging forward and always be social and take friends up on invitations or throw your own party and have your friends invite friends of theirs...just be yourself and be out there but now that you have seen the "badgirl" you know what to avoid...

Best of luck to you!
Diva<<<

I think you misunderstood what I was going for.

I WANT to attract a "bad girl." I want one because I don't have that smoothness, that confidence, or that "bad boy" edge to attract a normal girl. I'm hoping that a girl who's more edgy, sexual, non-conformist, and maybe more prone to make the first move, will make the first move on me. I'm hoping that a girl like that will be charmed by my inexperience and shyness.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 11:13am

>Are there girls who get off with "corrupting" sheepish, inexperienced guys?<

Older women, maybe. Girls in their early 20s - probably not.

My own BF was 23 when he lost his virginity. He lost it to a 30-something year old woman.

Seriously, you keep posting the same type of question over and over and over again. You really need to work on your self-confidence and stop basing your self-worth on whether you can get laid or not. No one's going to be interested in a mopey, desperate shoe-gazer. But if you're so intent on losing your virginity, seriously, just hire a professional. It's not hard at all to do and you can relax finally.

You keep saying you want to change into something else. You can't do that. So you have to become someone and something that you like and respect and stop trying to merely emulate the tired stereotype that you have fixed in your head. No one's going to like you if you don't even like yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2013
Fri, 06-28-2013 - 9:14pm
don’t feel so Sad ABOUT! YOU SHOULD NOT TRY TO FAKE IT. I DON’T THINK THAT IM THE BAD GIRL TYPE. BUT MY FRIENDS SAY THAT I LOOK LIKE THE TYPE I DON’T KNOW WHY AND LOTS OF SHY GUYS ASK ME OUT BUT I ALWAS SAY NO (IM NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP TO CHILDISH). YOU CAN START OF WITH DRESSING UP MORE EGY IF YOU WHERE SOME THING THAT YOU FEEL GOOD WITH, THAT CAN BOOST UP SELF ESTEAM. MAKE SHORE YOU PLAY HARD TO GET DON’T LOOK SO DEASPERT. I KNOW THIS CAUSE “NO” GIRL LIKES THE PUPPY TYPE TRUST ME SOME TIMES GIRLS LIKE THERE SPACE. BUT I WOULD NOT KNOW NEVER DATED ANY ONE. (IM SORRY FOR THE CAPS HOPE THIS HELPS)