Do I scare guys ?
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| Sun, 02-26-2006 - 5:10pm |
Hello,
So here's my thing : I've been single for a few weeks now and I've been going out with friends for a couple of times now. Actually, this has always been a problem : I have a hard time meeting new people when I go out, it seems I intimidate people or I do not look approchable. I'm not very self-confident so I thought I'm not attractive enough to interest other guys. However my friends, who maybe are just saying this to make me feel better, describe me as a very beautiful girl. It also happens a lot that I learn later, by another person, that a certain guy found that I was very pretty but they never come and say it to me ! When I ask what's the problem they say that I look serious or independant or very self-confident... what's that supposed to mean ? Like I said, I don't have much self-confidence and I love to laugh and joke around so it always surprises me when I have these comments (which I have quite often).
The last few times I went out to a bar, I noticed some cute guys staring at me but it ended there. All I had was wierd-looking half-drunk guys saying stupid stuff to me or others trying to grab my butt when I got out of the ladies room. I mean, I can't change my face, so I don't really know what to do... making the first move for me isn't an option because I'm way to shy. I can't really meet guys through my friends because they are interested in a type of men that really don't interest me. So what am I supposed to do to get people to come up to me and talk to me ? I'll never date if I don't meet anybody and I do feel like dating right now... BTW, I'm 24 (going on 25), a student (doing my masters).
Any help would be welcome ! Thank you :)

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I'm 29 and have never been approached in a bar.
Happy Belated Birthday, Stacey!
I'm glad the advertising worked for you.
First of all, thank you all for your replies.
It's ok if I don't get hit on at bars it's not like it's what I aim for when I go out... but it would be nice. The problem is if I don't get hit on anywhere because of the "look" I've got on my face that scares people away, how will I meet someone and get a date ? Besides school, the gym, or night clubs, I don't see where I can find nice normal guys... I'm not trying to find a husband right now but it would still be nice to go on dates once in a while like everybody else. I don't understand how I could intimidate people who don't even know me when I'm so insecure about myself... I just don't get it, really. :(
Thanks!
>> When I ask what's the problem they say that I look serious or independant or very self-confident... what's that supposed to mean <<
I get that same comment all the time. Sometimes I think I must make faces that I don't realize I'm making.
My best advice to you is to smile, smile, smile and make eye contact. That should give a guy enough of a comfort level to come up and say hello. Also, hanging out with a big group of women can be intimidating for guys, so make an effort to walk to the bar alone to get a drink or visit the jukebox. Stand apart from the crowd long enough for someone to be able to approach.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Smart aleck!
I think there's been a misunderstanding (and quite a funny one).
I thought you were making fun of a typo I thought I made (ie "everyone was hit on BY me") and you were just pointing it out. Then I read back and realized that I didn't have a typo, but maybe you did!
If not, then, well, I'm really confused!
Happy Birthday, Stacey! Sorry it's belated!
I'm glad to hear you had good luck with the birthday!
The same thing works with bachelorette parties. I'd still like to get a few of my friends together and have a fake bachelorette party just to see what would happen. :-)
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