Do I stick around for this??

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2004
Do I stick around for this??
3
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 5:17pm
Hey guys,,, Just wondering what you think about this one. I met a guy about 2 months ago. We have been seeing each other a few times a week and I got the vibe he was really into me. We talked about past relationships and he knows my terrible past with guys and meeting guys that break my heart and he told me about his ex that cheated on him and broke his heart. He flaked out a little bit a couple of weeks ago so I said something. He said that he did not want a "relationship" right now. So I explained to him how funny that is because when a guy says that it really means "I dont want a relationship with YOU!" He said that maybe sometimes that is true but in this case it is not. He likes me and likes spending time with me and thought we were both on the same page. I have had bad experiences with guy's telling me they dont want or are not ready for a relationship in the past. Due to some bad choices I made I had a guy string me along for a year to just end up telling me he thought there was something missing. This guy has introduced me to the parents already and we spend a lot of time with his friends. He has even mentioned to me that all of his friends really like me. He said he does not know if or when his decision on a relationship could change but he cant make any promises. He is only dating me and this is really not a ploy for him to be able to date me and multiple other girls at the same time. I think he might be scared to get hurt again and he may even be a little confused. I still am confident that he is into me but just how much is another story. It has been over a year since the ex broke his heart and he has not had a relationship since then. I told him I liked spending time with him but if this is how he feels than I was going to go out on dates and continue on with my life. He said he understood that I have to live my life and do what is best for me. So do I stick it out to see what this guy does?? Any advice would be helpful!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 5:33pm
It's time to move on. Regardless if he is telling you the truth, do you really want to stick around and risk getting hurt again. Even if he does like you, he doesn't want a relationship. Sometimes timing stinks....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 10:03am
Your entire post is about what this guy wants. You should be focusing on what you want. If he is unable to meet your needs in a relationship, then you need to think about what those needs are and whether or not you can be happy with the way things are with him. If not, then you need to think about whether you want to be with him or not. You can't try to predict how he will evolve and behave, but you do know what it is that you need.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 10:29am
Regardless of the level that he's into you, the point is, you don't sound like you're getting what you need. If you want a date once in a while, then you've got it. If you want a deeper relationship, you need to look elsewhere.