Do men ever grow up!!?????

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Do men ever grow up!!?????
3
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 5:04pm
I've been 'dating' someone I met on match.com for 1 1/2 months. The last time I saw him was a week ago Friday and we had sex. Well, before then he would email every day and we would instant message each other every night. Since that night he's only emailed me two times and we've chatted twice. He's 44 yrs old (I'm 40). I was hoping that at that age a guy was after more than just sex. I feel like I'm back in college again. Do men ever grow up? I really thought he was more mature than that. I feel like he was telling me things I wanted to hear just to get me to have sex with him and now I'm being dumped. I'm feeling really disgusted right now. I emailed him last night and he hasn't responded. Any advice on what I should or should not say?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 5:36pm

At 45, I know that chronological age and maturity do not go hand in hand!

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 8:04pm
I typically wait several months - 4 or more before having sex and we must be exclusive and committed and on the same page as far as a future. The last guy I slept with was the soonest - 2 months - and he hadn't yet said he loved me (first time I ever did that) but we discussed marriage and kids and were committed - it still wasn't really long enough for me. I never listen to what a guy says but what he does - if that confirms what he says, great but I don't think you can know that in only a month. I don't think it has to do with maturity - just with whether the man wants a long term relationship with you as opposed to a fling. Don't feel like you made a mistake - you are just seeing what your boundaries are - you don't sound like the kind of person who is ok with casual sex - once there is sex you have expectations and if that is true make sure that you discuss your expectations before you have sex.

Also I find that men who are serious minded want phone contact rather than email - it's more personal and less easy to hide from intimacy.


Edited 10/27/2003 9:06:48 PM ET by deena33

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 11:56pm
dump him. he's given you a very clear message that he was interested in getting one thing from you.

i'm really sorry this happened to you. can you tell us if there were any signs that he was only interested in sex prior to having sex with him?



um... also, please don't plop all us men into the same category. although its hard to believe right now, some of us aren't like that...