Do most men fear commitment?
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Do most men fear commitment?
| Mon, 05-22-2006 - 2:46pm |
After the chase is over and the man knows that you care for him and that it's getting more serious, at this point do most men usually get scared of commitment and back off to do some thinking or think about breaking it off or at least slowing it down? If this is the case, why do you think that they do this? I'm wondering what both men and women on this board's viewpoint on this is.

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Well, I can't speak for men and I also can't make a broad generalization about all men, but speaking from only my experience in dating, befriending and observing the men I have come across in my short time single, it appears that commitment is NOT very desirable among most men I've encountered.
There are of course, exceptions to this, but I come across so few men that openly embrace the idea of "settling down", being monogamous and being labeled boyfriend that I am astonished of those very few times when I meet one. But I live in a singles world, so again, this is just my viewpoint.
The interpretation I get from these guys is that being with just one girl is too much work, boring and holds too much responsibility. They don't want to be responsible for hurting someone, that want their "freedom" to do whatever and not have anyone to answer to or they are so wrapped up in work or their careers that it will have to wait until 5-15 years down the line when they are financially ready for a serious commitment. For these men, work is their only love right now.
Again, this is just my 2 cents from my experiences, I don't claim to for all men.
My experience tends to point to the same conclusion.
"Of course, there have to be some men out there willing to commit or no one would get married"
See in my world, they don't get married. 64% of African Americans are now single and 42% of black women will never marry. The marriage rates among blacks continue to drop and in my experience, it's even worse. In my entire family, I can only name 2 cousins who are currently married (one whose already been caught cheating in a long-term affair)and most of my male cousins have chosen to have babies without marrying the mothers. Infact, my family consists of mainly women who are single, divorced or widowed. They are are no men. I have no uncles.
Not to get into a huge race thing but of my white friends, they are always going to weddings, their friends are getting engaged, moving in together and having kids. Out of my black ones, not one is in a relationship and I have been to I believe 4 weddings in my life. I don't know anyone whose getting married or whose even in a serious relationship. It's as if it's going extinct in my community.
"Do you think these commitment issues are most common amongst guys in their mid to late 20s?"
I definitely think so. I haven't met a guy in that age range that isn't already married or engaged to his career. That comes first. Often times, women are last (or at all) on their priority list.
Edited 5/25/2006 9:52 am ET by cl214
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