Do we become less superficial as we age?
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Do we become less superficial as we age?
| Fri, 11-30-2007 - 7:29pm |
I was talking with a male coworker who told me his theory that all a guy in his 30s needs to do to attract a woman is to be nice and funny.

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I don't think I've ever been very superficial. Even in HS, I was attracted to personality over looks. Mostly because I was the girl with the "great sense of humor" - and we all know what that means!
In my 20s, I was a snob. If he didn't have a college degree, he wasn't for me. But I could never reconcile that with some friends' boyfriends & friends
He has observed that once we all get over 30, looks become less important to us and we focus more on personality.
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Well the whole mid life crises thing is older men trying to be twenty all over again, right? (-: So is it an expected result of age? In general terms I agree with your friend, with age comes a little wisdom for those who pay attention. Cute people who are miserable to share air in the same room with aren't cute for long. (-:
What I would say is that even smart people in their teens and 20's tend to be "more" attracted to looks and the "surface" aspects of the personality because they lack any real experience to chose on other factors yet. With each passing year for people who reflect on a "whole person" and the experiences they are having with people
I got burned by my superficiality during my early twenties.
<<In my 20s, I was a snob. If he didn't have a college degree, he wasn't for me. But I could never reconcile that with some friends' boyfriends & friends
It's funny, I am 40 and do not feel superficial at all...YET I know being attracted to someone is very important because it signals something deeper most of the time.
I think the base values of trust, honesty, consideration, etc etc are very important but we also need some charm for fun, for social interactions and to make our relationships more exciting.
I am not speaking of superficial charm but the kind that puts others at ease, that is generous, fun, gracious, sweet, etc.
I don't believe people become less superficial as they age, unless it's just relationships we are talking about here.
Younger people are superficial with looks, but older people are superficial with their homes/outward appearance. We just move were our superficiality lies!
And maybe it's just women, and not men. Men will always say it was their looks that attracted them at first, and they aren't ashamed to say it. Women like to say cr*p about personality, which is BS.
I at 38 years old still look at men for attractiveness, and I don't care how funny the bloke is if he has some jacked up teeth we aren't going to move forward.
I am still debating on whether I want to respond to men who are losing their hair, look older than their years, have facial hair. They can be great on paper but these things could be a dealbreaker for me.
Luckily, what I have learnt over the years is they can look good, but be awful people. I still haven't been able to move past the initial attraction part, just like a man!
Beach
Smile,
Deirdre
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