Do we become less superficial as we age?

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Do we become less superficial as we age?
18
Fri, 11-30-2007 - 7:29pm

I was talking with a male coworker who told me his theory that all a guy in his 30s needs to do to attract a woman is to be nice and funny.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 12-01-2007 - 2:04am

I don't think I've ever been very superficial. Even in HS, I was attracted to personality over looks. Mostly because I was the girl with the "great sense of humor" - and we all know what that means!


In my 20s, I was a snob. If he didn't have a college degree, he wasn't for me. But I could never reconcile that with some friends' boyfriends & friends

summer 2010 sig by Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Sat, 12-01-2007 - 10:59am

He has observed that once we all get over 30, looks become less important to us and we focus more on personality.


*****


Well the whole mid life crises thing is older men trying to be twenty all over again, right? (-: So is it an expected result of age? In general terms I agree with your friend, with age comes a little wisdom for those who pay attention. Cute people who are miserable to share air in the same room with aren't cute for long. (-:


What I would say is that even smart people in their teens and 20's tend to be "more" attracted to looks and the "surface" aspects of the personality because they lack any real experience to chose on other factors yet. With each passing year for people who reflect on a "whole person" and the experiences they are having with people

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 12-01-2007 - 1:48pm

I got burned by my superficiality during my early twenties.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 12:10pm

<<In my 20s, I was a snob. If he didn't have a college degree, he wasn't for me. But I could never reconcile that with some friends' boyfriends & friends

Pregnancy ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 6:34pm

It's funny, I am 40 and do not feel superficial at all...YET I know being attracted to someone is very important because it signals something deeper most of the time.


I think the base values of trust, honesty, consideration, etc etc are very important but we also need some charm for fun, for social interactions and to make our relationships more exciting.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 1:09pm

I am not speaking of superficial charm but the kind that puts others at ease, that is generous, fun, gracious, sweet, etc.

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 1:24pm

I don't believe people become less superficial as they age, unless it's just relationships we are talking about here.


Younger people are superficial with looks, but older people are superficial with their homes/outward appearance. We just move were our superficiality lies!


And maybe it's just women, and not men. Men will always say it was their looks that attracted them at first, and they aren't ashamed to say it. Women like to say cr*p about personality, which is BS.


I at 38 years old still look at men for attractiveness, and I don't care how funny the bloke is if he has some jacked up teeth we aren't going to move forward.


I am still debating on whether I want to respond to men who are losing their hair, look older than their years, have facial hair. They can be great on paper but these things could be a dealbreaker for me.


Luckily, what I have learnt over the years is they can look good, but be awful people. I still haven't been able to move past the initial attraction part, just like a man!


Beach


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 11:31am
I've never been focused on looks. I've always been focused on sense of humor. I've always been unconventional in that way. The guy in highschool that could make me laugh, had that hysterical sense of humor was always the guy that had me hooked on him and they weren't always the hottie.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket



Smile,

Deirdre

Pages