Do You Like Going Solo?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Do You Like Going Solo?
35
Sat, 06-23-2007 - 3:23pm
How do you feel about not being in a serious relationship? Does it bother you if you don't have a date? Can you enjoy your life without having a man in your life?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2007
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 6:53pm
There is a silver lining to this type too. Lets say she gets divorced after thirty years of marriage or her husband drops dead one morning after 40 years together, a week from the funeral she could be with a new man and be married by the end of the month. She wouldn't have to sit around and brood for months and years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 7:44pm
Uhh....right, but that's not exactly healthy either. Personally, I'd still be thinking about the other guy. Now if you'd been single for long periods before that, you'd still know how to be on your own. Ta da. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 8:59pm
I think that applies when you are in your early 20's because I find that older couples have a healthier balance of their time. They are more secure in themselves and their relationships and dont have the constant need to be together or attached to their SO.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 11:05pm

I agree.


Although, my best friend is now dating someone who is 40 (she's 30- and settling at the moment, IMO) who is on her like stink on, well, you know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 9:15am

After 3 years of looking, dating and putting myself out here and after 8 years of a pretty happy relationship, I can honestly say it makes me sad to not have a wonderful, romantic relationship in my life. I miss it like crazy and hope I'll get into another one before hit my deathbed.

It does bother me a bit to not have dates on weekends or special events but I combat that by staying busy with my friends. It gets hard because I feel I've gotten even more dependent on my friends for social things to combat loneliness.

I can and do enjoy life without a man. But I also know exactly what great things I'm missing. And that is hard to ignore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:27pm

>>She wouldn't have to sit around and brood for months and years.<<

Yeesh. Then is she really growing as a person? I believe that pain and grieving are a necessary part of life - if you just brush over it or look for ways to numb it, you either don't grow as a person or it will come back to haunt you later.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 6:45am

I'm happy for you that you have been able to fill your life with friends, and I hope that you do meet and form a loving and healthy relationship with the man who is right for you.

There are pros and cons to being with someone and with going it solo. As I always say, "What's right, is what's right for each of us".

Many happy thoughts and blessings to you!

Callie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 10:02pm

I enjoy the freedom of not being taunted of "why haven't you called or visit me today" crap. There is so much space to breath oxygen and go outside and help my mother plant the spring tulips.

Sometimes, the only harsh thing is going to friends weddings or dinner dates without a partner to part take in, but I don't mind the pleasure of getting to scope the outdoors to eye ball another potential bachelor without kids or a ring on their left hand.

Do I like going Solow... After three years after a almost two year on and off poor break-up... my answer is Hell yes! :)

-eReader_K2007

random iVillager, eReader_k007 "Life's a triOp. Tie your shoelAces"
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2005
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 11:34pm

At first it doesn't bother you so much. but now that it's summertime, it does seem to bug me a bit more now. School is out and its time for vacations and relaxation so sometimes you wish you had that special someone in your life to spend it with even if its once a month. Sometime I do feel a bit lonely but at the same time, im trying to find a person who I know will be around for awhile. I want a long term relationship. I guess it all depends on how you look at a relationship to be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 6:15am

Amen! Isn't it wonderful not to have to answer to someone? I love it too! Not all people expect you to be a prisoner while in a relationship, but for those who do...I stay clear of! The best relationships are those where both parties are secure and comfortable with themselves, are not possessive, are not jealous, and have no prior hurts they need to take out on other people (gee, is there anyone like that out there? lol).