Do you have a "best friend" to talk to?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Do you have a "best friend" to talk to?
12
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 12:13am

Do you have at least one person in your life that you can trust and share your life experiances?

You know, someone you can talk to about virtually anything, and they will listen. Someone you can call and talk about your day, vent your frustrations, cry on thier shoulder, or feel comfortable telling your deep dark secrets such as what is killing you inside?

For some reason, I have just not been able to find a friend like that. So evertything over the years just builds up inside.

I have friends at work that I get along with, and the ones that I hang out with are not really the kind of people you can go to to talk about issues. Nice enough people, but not anyone I feel comfortable going to when I really need someone to talk to about anything personal.

If you have ever been in the position, you know that it is very hard to keep everything inside. If I ever do find a friend that I am that comfortable with, I could let so many years of tension go. I would probably end up crushing to tears (Yes some men do that LOL)

I have thought about going to a counselor, but I'm just not comfortable going to someone who I've never even seen before just to talk about personal things.

Is anyone else in this situation? It has gotten very hard for me over the years to just keep everything inside.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 7:39pm

>>You know, someone you can talk to about virtually anything, and they will listen. Someone you can call and talk about your day, vent your frustrations, cry on thier shoulder, or feel comfortable telling your deep dark secrets such as what is killing you inside?<<

I used to. My previous "best friend" and I used to talk about practically everything in high school. We grew apart during college and because she resents me for 1) knowing what I want in life and 2) telling her that her bf (since junior year in HS) was completely wrong for her. During our senior year in college (we went to different schools but they were only an hour apart), she and this guy finally broke up for good and she kind of started talking to me again - only about her life...a complete one way conversation. Anyway, I'm now in grad school and we don't talk at all...kind of happy about that. What's the point of having a best friend that you can't talk to or even trust? Ever since we started college, everything I told her would become public knowledge in a matter of days. Anyway, she has some serious issues and I think I'm better off not talking to her. I know that is very bad to say but it is honestly how I feel.

I have a lot of friends but nobody that I could tell everything to. I REALLY miss just being able to tell someone my inner thoughts and feelings, sharing experiences, and get his/her advice. I completely understand what you're going through and if you - or anyone reading this - ever want to talk, e-mail me! I'd love to find someone to talk to too!

~ Jessica

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 3:41am

I know exactly how you feel, I dont know if it is because I am a guy but I have never had someone I felt I could talk to about anything bothering me. I always felt stupid for feeling any kind of serious emotion about anything so I learned to shrug it off and make jokes about life and whatever it was that was bothering me at the moment. As soon as I hit adolescence I learned to counter a serious situation in my life with a joke.

I dont wanna make it a gender thing but I think men just have a harder time opening up. I can't even think of anyone who I would want to open up to...it's strange I guess but I have learned to stop taking things so seriously over the years and now its almost like I dont even take anything seriously and people seem to think I'm an insenstive jerk. A professional counselor or therapist would help you open up if you have a problem opening like me and if you just dont have anyone close if your life at the moment they can also serve as an outlet for that as well.

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