Do You Like Living Alone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Do You Like Living Alone?
18
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 8:03pm

I have been single again now for 5 years and these past 5 years have been the first time in my life that I've ever lived alone, and I LOVE it!!

How do the rest of you feel about living solo?

I find that I have so much emotional and physical freedom now, and there is no one to leave a big mess and expect me to clean it up, no one to tell me what to do, where to go, what to wear...you know, all the typical guy stuff. And if I feel like being lazy on a weekend morning there is no one to tell me I look awful...LOL.

I'm in my 60's and heck, maybe I was never meant to be married in the first place.

I never feel lonely, have too many wonderful friends to go places with and do things with, plus my full time job keeps me pretty busy too.

And I love coming home from work and NOT having a couch potato wanting to know when dinner will be ready!

Callie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 8:46pm
Maybe it's because I've never lived with anyone (a partner, I mean) but I look forward to the days when I don't live alone anymore. The conversations with the dog aren't as fulfilling as I'd like. :-) Who knows if that'll happen but I'd like to think that it will be as good as living alone but for completely different reasons.

Your perspective sounds a lot different than mine, though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 9:01pm

You are so correct! It is all in how each of us view our lifestyles that makes the difference. I believe that "what's right for me, is what's right for me", and that pertains to everyone.

I spent over 30 years in marriage, and that's another reason I'm enjoying going on my own now. My job is very busy and hectic and I interact with a LOT of people all day long, so coming home to peace and quiet is priceless to me.

Would I ever marry again? Can't see that in the cards for me, but I never say never. The ideal situation would be to have a companion to share time with, but then he would go home to his own place. Lots of couples (especially in my age group) are doing that now and it works wonderfully as long as each person wants it that way.

Thanks for your input!

Callie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 9:07pm

Oh I love living alone! I'm 24 and have already lived on my own for a year. Now I just moved into a new place a couple weeks ago and this is the first time I'm living on my own & single. Prior I was away every weekend at my bf's (long distance) and he was over for two days every other week. However I'm adjusting nicely! I work two jobs, one for fun and I try and get together with friends a couple times a week.

I practically lived with a guy for a year in college and that had its benefits too. I do miss falling asleep with someone every night or having someone to scratch your back, lol. However I'm not sure how long I'll be single so I'm enjoying this while I can!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 11:28am

I love it. Love it, love it, love it. Did I mention that I love it?

I have never lived with a boyfriend or partner, but I lived with my best friend as a housemate for 7 years. She moved out 6 months ago, and I am just in heaven. In fact, I sometimes worry that I'm way too happy on my own, that I'll be really angry when I have to start sharing again!

I love coming home to a quiet house, being able to do what I want when I want, all the time. I just love it.

Jess

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 9:37pm

Hello Callie! It's nice to meet somebody else who shares the same name:)

Anyway, to answer your question, I also love living alone. For all the obvious reasons.... I can keep my place as clean or messy as I like. I don't have to pick up after anyone. I can toss and turn all night until I get comfortable. I can it the snooze button as many times as I need in order to get my but out of bed. My two cats can snuggle with me without anyone crabbing about it. I don't have to listin to anyone snore next to me and so on....

I enjoy it so much, I wonder how I will deal with actually living with my husband one day. That is, if I ever get married. Now that I am 30, it does not seem like such a curse to be single and I have actually learned to enjoy it.

Calie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 12:34pm

Sounds like you don't like living alone as much as you like NOT living with your ex-husband. Living with the RIGHT person who is an addition to your life rather than a sponge or taker (ie like your ex-husband who you wrote was constantly expecting you to make dinner, clean up after him, etc.) would be totally different. I live alone, but I truly believe living with the right person would be so much better--I mean, who wouldn't want their best friend there to share stories with after a tough day or someone to cuddle up and watch movies with? Just like being alone is much better than being in a bad relationship, but being in a good relationship is much better than being alone. Similarly, living with the right person will be a wonderful addition to your life and not a drain on your energy who expects you to clean and cook for him like a maid.

Just wanted to point that out b/c I'd hate to have you push away all guys who may want marriage b/c you assume living with THEM would just be like living with your ex-husband.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 6:31pm

It's nice to meet you too! I so agree with everything you wrote! I love my freedom too! Will I ever live with another man....um, right now I sure don't think so...maybe if we had separate bedrooms...lol. I LOVE having the bed all to myself. And just being able to do whatever I want, when I want. This is the most content I have been my entire life...and like they say, "If it isn't broken, don't fix it!".

Callie

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 6:52pm

How do the rest of you feel about living solo?

I'd probably like it, but I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm disabled and missing a few key traits necessary to be self-efficient/self-sufficient. My feelings would be torn between love of freedom, and fear of survival.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:27am
Me personally, I hate living alone for the most part. I dont like coming home at night to an empty apartment. One of my weird phobias is the dark (not all the time, but sometimes) so I hate sleeping alone. At least with a roommate, they were in the next room and I didnt feel "alone" when I slept. I like to talk to others, have someone rub my shoulders, and I love cooking dinner and its always better when you have someone to share. I dont have a pet right now because I think its unfair to the animal when I'm not around (cats would be fine with this, but I prefer dogs). I like having freedom and privacy and I wouldnt want a "roommate" again, but I cant wait to share my space again. I'm looking forward to it.

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Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:41am

"One of my weird phobias is the dark (not all the time, but sometimes) so I hate sleeping alone."

Well, I'm not afraid of the dark. But I am afraid of people (well, I at least distrust people in genreal). And the dark tends to enhance that fear. We've grown up used to hearing about the creeps that come out after dark.

" I dont have a pet right now because I think its unfair to the animal when I'm not around (cats would be fine with this, but I prefer dogs)."

You are right about the dogs! They do need a lot of attention. Attention, I can give. But I prefer cats over dogs because dogs take too much money and maintainance. Plus, there are many dogs in my neighborhood that bark at night and I lose sleep over it. I think I used to like dogs, but not anymore.

But I think if I ever had a chance to move out and survive HAPPILY, I'd have to take my sister along with me. We're very close. People think we're twins, but we're not. We do almost everything together. I think that I'd be happy to be living alone at first, but then I'd get lonely. The loneliness would probably consume me. I'm already lonely enough. I tend to turn reclusive, unless I have someone else to keep me open.

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