Do you maintain a clean break?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Do you maintain a clean break?
19
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 8:19am

After my ex dumped me about 5 months ago. We stay in contact periodically.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 9:29am

I think that is one of the hardest things to do.. To do the NC thing but many women do it and when I have done it.. I think actually it comes down to practice and practice..You know practice makes perfect sort of thing.

When I first left my 2H I had to maintain NC.. I did it with journaling or calling a friend or finding something else to distract me. I also blocked him from my email address, phone and any type of communication.. They call it the healing process.. Sometimes one has to get very proactive in the NC.. After many years of me practicing this NC I can now do it very easily..I just do it because I have the experience and practice at doing it.. I think the more you do it the easier it becomes.

When I left a rebound guy I was involved with I did the same thing. He kept writing to me and calling me.. So one day I blocked his phone number and I blocked his emails and I deleted everything I could from him.. I then went on the grieving journey to grieve that relationship and after awhile I was fine.. oh; I also think its important to grieve a relationship and that would mean something different for everyone..

Just My two cents

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 10:40am
I had one sleepless night. I thought he was killed in a car accident. I called him this morning. It turns out he was in bed at 9.30pm.

When I asked if he has a new gf, he said he is seeing someone. This explains it. I will never keep in touch with an ex again. This news hurts like hell.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 10:55am

Usually I don't see much point in keeping in touch w/ an ex unless it ends for a reason that it outside of your relationship, say that someone had to move away for school or a new job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 11:14am
yes, I agree with everything you say. I was hurt when he dumped me. But I kind of miss him.

Next time, it will be a clean breakup. I did grovel for his attention. I asked twice to get back together. I lost my self respect.
NC is the way to go.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 11:27am
I've only ever kept in touch with two exes. One broke it off with me and the other, I had broken up with him. The latter, moved away and we lost contact. The other one stopped emailing when he got married.
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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 12:43pm

Yes I do.

dragowoman

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 1:52pm
Once you get burned from the contact, it becomes much easier. You learned that lesson it sounds like. I didn't always maintain no contact, but the first time an ex told me he needed to hang up because his new girlfriend was in the next room...well, that did it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 3:10pm

Unless it was just a fling, I keep in touch with ALL my exes, and am even sort of friends with my ex-husband.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 3:30pm
He said he went out and was in bed...prob with the new girl friend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 3:32pm
I will NEVER keep in touch with an ex once a relationship is over.

If he is not WITH me, he cannot be my friend.

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