Do you or don't you pick up the phone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Do you or don't you pick up the phone?
10
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 8:48pm

So let's assume, just in theory, that someone is in a long distance relationship that, while consummated, doesn't have any rules attached or commitments made.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 10:00pm

Or said woman could turn on loud music in the background, answer, and make him wonder where in the hell she is on this lovely Friday evening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 10:07pm
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 10:08pm

Hehe...see, I do have an evil side.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2011
Sat, 12-10-2011 - 6:24am

Don't pick up, then call him half an hour later, explaining you were in the shower. Let him stew a bit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2009
Sat, 12-10-2011 - 10:12am

Don't just pick up, either let it ring and call back later or do what Shy suggested, very devious! But a great story backup about where you were that doesn't cause him to worry but lets him know you have a social life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sat, 12-10-2011 - 11:53am

He called twice last night and I didn't pick up either time.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 12-10-2011 - 12:20pm
You must have been busy!

My friend has been texting me more frequently lately. It was about once a month for the first couple of months. Lately it's been once a week. He texted when I was home over thanksgiving so I couldn't see him. Then last week I had to tell him no because I was taking care of a friend (gotta love being the sober one) and he took an hour away from his boys to come over the next night. Last night, I had been in bed for awhile because I've got sinus crap going on so I told him he couldn't come over. He said he really wanted to see me- was practically begging. I told him maybe tonight if I feel up to it and I'd text him.

The unavailable thing really does work. In my case, it's not an act. Maybe you just need to make sure you're busy for real instead of waiting for that call.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Sat, 12-10-2011 - 12:42pm
Hahaha! That is too funny. They actually have props for moments such as the one you are expriencing? I will ave to bookmark that one just in case it's needed in the future. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 12-10-2011 - 1:21pm

I have heard, read and experienced that when you are less available to a man they come running to us

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Sat, 12-10-2011 - 1:53pm
I've read that too. It is true. I started to observe couples and the happiest relationships are the ones where the woman has her own life, hobbies and friends. AND, she doesn't center her whole life around the guy by not maintaining her own interests.

I also read that when a woman radiates masculine energy - meaning taking charge of dates and being sexually agressive with guys - she attracts feminine energy guys. Feminine energy guys sit back and make the woman do all of the emotional work in the relationship. Yuck! Who needs that?! A masculine man likes to plan and romance the woman. When she leads with her masculine foot, she takes that away from him and he loses interest. A woman who leads with her feminine (sp?) energy, she attracts a man who will enjoy romancing her. What woman doesn't like romance right? Romance is the key to opening your heart to love.

I've also come to realize, that courting is courting is courting no matter what century your living in. Men and women are biologically different and require certain things in order to fall in love and courting is one of the most important! A man needs to lead with his masculine side and the woman needs to lead with her feminine side in order for a nice balanced healthy loving relationship to develop, evolve and grow. :)

Just some things I've learned along the way...through exprience I might add. :)