Does he like me??...Part 2

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Does he like me??...Part 2
22
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 10:06am
So, I am sure all of you are curious as to what happened last night with my guy...(SEE PREVIOUS POST-DOES HE LIKES ME?) Well, we all went out with my friends and Kyle was there. He was of course, looking better than ever. We ended up going bowling and then to the bar as opposed to that party that was originally planned. So, we were flirting with each other the whole time at bowling. When we went to the bar, we had a good time. Although, Kyle really doesn't like the bar. So I talked to him to make his time more enjoyable. And I eventually got up the courage to ask him out cause I was feeling it. I asked him to go out next weekend. He wasn't too suprised that I asked, but his response was "Honestly? I have been meaning to ask you the same thing but I sort of got the feeling you weren't that interested, so I didn't ask." So, looks like the feelings are mutual...I guess we have a revelation now, don't we ladies. So we exchanged numbers and he said he would call me sometime this week. Interesting... I believe this is to the contrary beliefs of some people. Anyways, please share your thoughts. I also would like to thank Heather (cuddlebug) as she encouraged me to go after what I wanted.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 11:32am
I am not surprised at all - but it has nothing to do with my point - first, it concerns me that he couldn't get up the courage to ask you - when you were able to get up the courage to ask him - after all you weren't sure about his interest level either - and I think that if you have a long term view - if you want a long term relationship with him - I think the better move would have been to wait it out and see if he prioritized his interest in you over his fear - as of now we know that he wasn't interested enough to get up the courage - this level of interest could change however. also now you are in the position of having to plan the date and treat since you asked him - and that would not be an entirely comfortable position for me on a first date - just me. I don't care about the money at all just the concept. I would always be wondering - why couldn't he find the courage in himself to ask me out if he truly was interested - and what does that say about his character in general. Also I am very skeptical that with all the flirting and cuddling you did he didn't know if you were interested enough to have dinner with him. I sincerely doubt that and my guess is he is a nice guy who is fine with the idea of a date with you and wanted to make you feel good about asking - if he wasn't surprised you asked, then why didn't he ask you himself - there's something fishy here. And, for a man who professes to be so interested, he didn't seem too enthusiastic to make a specific plan and to call and confirm at a specific time - it's just not enough of a level of interest for me - and of course! - if he ends up being not interested it is nothing to do with you at all - this whole situation just makes little sense to me.

So yes he might be the exception - I said there were - it's just rare - and not worth the time/risk/effort for me. So, no I do not think the fact that he accepted your offer and claimed to be interested proves your point.

Edited 11/1/2003 12:41:40 PM ET by deena33


Edited 11/1/2003 12:43:43 PM ET by deena33

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 12:08pm
Does it ever cross your mind that some men have had bad experiences and have a lack of confidence in asking women out? Just admit you are wrong and take it like a real woman.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 12:43pm

I agree!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 12:49pm
You said "Just admit you are wrong and take it like a real woman."

I think that is an unfair and provocative statement. I truly don't think there is an absolute right or wrong in how to date - people are very different, and what works for one person might not work for another. My impression was that Deena was merely expressing what has worked for her and her friends, not telling you that her way was right for everyone. You asked for advice, and she gave it to you based on her experiences. So I think it is unfair for you to tell her that she is wrong. How can what has worked for her be "wrong"?

I hope things work out for you with Kyle.

ginger

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 12:53pm
Sure it does - those are not the type of man who would be suitable for me - what do I need with a low-confidence, cycnical/bitter man?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 1:14pm
YEA!!!! YEPEE!!!! I'M SOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!! ECT...ECT...ECT...!!!! I am sooo excited for your new possible romance with Klye!!! I knew it would work out great!!! See...it NEVER hurts to ask! And didn't it feel empowering to do so?!? I was eagerly awaiting your post, but figured that if you had a great time last night getting up early to post wouldn't be your 1st priority this morning! Well good luck! And let us know how everything goes!!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!

:o)

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 1:37pm
Dear Deena33 & Northwestwanderer,

Our young friend was meerley updating us on her suscesful evening and I think it would be nice to congratulate her on success, rather than pulling her down by your comments. We have already discussed this topic ad nausim and she was meerley reporting to us that her crush was indeed interested in her as well. If you need to debate this topic then there is aonther discussion going on...but I think that Calgarygirl was meerly was letting those of us who were crossing our fingers for her know that it went well. So like most of us were taught in grade school...say something nice or don't say anything at all.

Heather

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 1:53pm

Once again, you didn't read my post fully.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 2:05pm
Yes you DID say that you hope things worked out...after you read her the riot act...

And I haven't been "Spiteful and Hateful" ... I have been Glib and Scarcastic...This is a message board for goodness sake...not my life...it's something for fun, as I'm sure it is for Calgarygirl. Again I think your are taking thing too literally and a little too seriously!

SO as far as Calgarygirl goes...YOU ROCK!!!!!! ROCK ON!!!!!

:o)

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 2:19pm
Obviously she didn't go to a grade school where that was taught. She invited our opinions and commentary and I gave them and I needed to respond to her presumptuous tone that she was "right" - and that she was "successful" - what exactly is the success here - that he promised to call her this week to confirm that he wants to accept her invitation for a date - that he said he was "not surprised" that she asked but yet didn't ask himself? Sure, he could fall head over heels for her and they could have a wonderful healthy relationship - but "success" because he accepted her invitation? I think that's interesting but not my definition of success.

And like sheri I noted that he could be one of the exceptions. This message board is for fun, yes, but it's also serious - especially because there are those of us who know each other in real life and/or keep in touch by phone or email off the boards (I've met 7 women in real life through the boards, so far, and keep in touch with 3-4 more).

If to you success means a man accepting a date with you, more power to you.


Edited 11/1/2003 3:21:34 PM ET by deena33

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