Does a mans looks count or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Does a mans looks count or not?
42
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 3:35pm

I hate to sound bitter, but why do women say this all the time? That looks don't matter as much as guys think, yet they swoon over gorgeous guys like crazy! I mean why else were women so excited to see brad pitt in troy? Why else do women go crazy watching a chippendale dancer? I even read an article about a women describing the pitfalls of dating a gorgeous man, one was that he was constantly being chased by other women.

(http://www.nypost.com/seven/04222007/entertainment/dating/why_i_love__and_hate__dating_a_gorgeous_guy_dating_maggie_kim.htm)

Guys didn't just come up with the idea of women liking gorgeous men just like that you know. You see it everyday in society.

The same goes for money. I mean girls literally fall over guys with money. Yet most women will continue to say that they don't want a guy with a lot of money, but only financial stability.

So ladies what gives?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 10:28am
yeah, cuz we all know that guys don't prefer hot babes with cash in the bank - they'd far rather have a fat ugly chick with bad credit.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 10:42am

I have never in my life said that looks don't matter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 10:50am

Geez, someone's bitter...

No, I DON'T know what you're talking about. And you're clearly letting what most of us are saying go in one ear and out the other.

You know, it really pisses me off when guys spew all this "nice guys finish last" business. None of my friends are ever in it for a the money or the better looking guy (though some have the bad boyd tendency...I've never understood it) and we're all nice, friendly, cute girls who, for the most part, ARE SINGLE. Has it ever occurred to you that you're all chasing the wrong type of women?? The kind of woman that would choose a guy based on money or the societal standard of good looks is then kind of women you're GOING to get burned by (and who is probably a shallow you-know-what, quite frankly), so use your best judgement and DON'T GO FOR THEM. Give the nice girls a chance, because we, most often - and especially at my age, our early 20's - get overlooked for some fake, shallow bimbo (have we forgotten why the Dukes of Hazzard grossed anything at all??).

All of the women I know are attracted to different types, and NONE of them are the stereotypical "hunky" type. I have a friend who's attracted to slightly nerdy/geeky guys (she admits it), one who like guys with a "swagger," another who's attracted to more unconventional, off-beat guys...it's all in who you're attracted to. If you're mission in life is to become a trophy wife, yes you're going to shun the nice guys in favor of the good looking guy with loads of money. For most women, however, that's not the case. I'm typically attracted to said nice guys (whom I don't ditch when someone "better looking" comes along), all-American, typically with a little charming goofiness/klutziness to them...it's not a hard and fast rule, just a general overview. :) I'd be quicker to watch The Office to see a couple of cute guys than Troy....plus The Office is actually good and Troy was pure crap (I have an art history degree and concentrated in Ancient Greek art and we actually watched in class so we could pick out all the inaccuracies and basically make fun of it). :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 11:09am

I totally agree. Because you see it all the time. YOu see nerdy guys, fat guys walking with hot chicks on their arms so I don't buy the "nice guys finish last" garbage.

Chicks going for looks is such an individual thing. Not everyone has the same taste in men or women. YOu cannot universally take women and men and ask lump them into categories and say they all like the same type of people because it's just not true. I go for men that make me laugh, their looks usually "get better" from there. I might not look second at a guy, until I start communicating with them, and then from that point forward their looks grow on me. The first time I met my exhusband I said "Whose that geek behind home plate" that was my initial first impression of him, obviously I fell in love with him and married him so obviously I thought he was hot and loved him immensely enough to marry the man.

Men in Hollywood are just a ridiculous comparison, I find Dane Cook hot, have you ever looked at Dane Cook up close? He has poc marks on his face from acne and some scars. I do not think Matt Damon is that attractive but he's always voted in People Magazine is one of the Top Hottest men.

Again, looks is a relative term to whomever is doing the "looking".

As far as money is concerned. There are always going to be "gold-diggers" but I want someone who is employed of course,since I'm employed. I don't want anyone sitting on their lazy behind anymore than they would want me sitting on mine. But I don't need anyone rich, money isn't important to me, I didn't grow up living in the lap of luxury, the most important thing to me is friends and family. That's what I care about in life.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 7:10pm

HappyChick, right on! I so dig that tatoo'd I'm-the-drummer-in-a-rock-band look too... I have yet to attract him... the men that tend to find me have a I'm-from-Seattle-&-grundge-isn't dead yet look, ha!


Although I do think physical attraction is an absolute must, I tend to avoid men that are drop dead gorgeous or pretty in any way, because their personality's are normally underdeveloped, my guess is too much hair products soaked into their brains at a young age! LOL!


Money is very important in that they must, absolutely MUST, make equal or more than what I make. I want the finer things in life and can actually afford them for myself. I do not/will not ever want to be a *sugar mama* to any man. He doesn't have to be rich, just comfortable!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 5:48am

"But the girls who will fall all over themselves for a guy with wads of cash hanging out of his pocket - well, all I can say is that water seeks it's own level (hence the birds quote). A man with loads of cash will *usually* have the most physically attractive woman on his arm that he can find. Because, believe me, if you *want* the most physically attractive woman, you have to be able to "afford" her upkeep, and her upkeep don't come cheap. So, no, it's not ALL women - just the shallow ones"

I would bet around 90% of women are like this, they just don't admit it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 8:38am

<<>>

That's as innaccurate as sayin 90% of men are only interested in having a Barbie Doll on their arms.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 9:02am

>would bet around 90% of women are like this, they just don't admit it.<

Oh yeah? So what sort of girls do YOU go for then? Do you go for the shallow bims? Or are you willing to give a plain but nice girl a chance?

If you're only going for the shallow bims, I see why you feel this way. *shrug* And that's YOUR problem, not ours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 12:16pm

ITA.

>...or you're just as shallow as you say "women" are. Shallow people date shallow people."

I think this is usually the case. And probably the case here as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2006
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 10:40am

More important than looks or money are things like how he speaks to me, is he respectful of me and my career, is he aware of the world around him, how he treats his friends and family, and so forth. I observe all of this from conversing with him, in the things he talks about and the way he interacts with other people around us, friend or strangers.

Just to give you an example, I recently was set up with this guy who I made arrangements to meet at a casual outdoor group setting (picnic and concert). I think he was very nervous, but that didn't excuse the fact that he didn't talk to me, he didn't ask me any questions about me, he doesn't know anything about his neighborhood, music or international foods, and I figured out that he doesn't read the newspaper at all. He wasn't very good looking, but I would have overlooked it if he knew at least a little something making him seem a little bit knowledgeable about life or if he at least acted like he was interested in meeting me by asking me a few questions about my interests. I tried to ask him about his work, his background, just casually, as the subjects were things in common for us - the mutual friend who works with him, I have known for a long time, and we all work in health care. Still he didn't make any return conversation. OH, WELL, big sigh!!! (At least I tried!) Frankly, I think the opposite in this case was a problem since I make more money at my job than he does, and am in a higher position in the hierarchy of health care jobs even though we never even talked about what I do.

So, no looks and money are not everything, esp when the woman probably makes enough money on her own. Then, she just wants a guy who is financially stable, ie not in debt to his ear and not frugally stingy either.