Does this mean anything??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Does this mean anything??
5
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 8:27am
I got an email out of the blue from an old boyfriend last Septmeber. We had broke up 2 years prior to that and had not had any contact since except for a chance meeting out one night a few months after we broke up. I wrote him back and asked if he would like to meet for a drink. He wrote back and said he'd like to but he was dating someone and wasn't 100% comfortable with meeting me. Well I emailed him 2 months ago because I was just thinking abou thim and wonderin gif he was over in Iraq fighting the war. He didn't respond after a few weeks so I figured he didn't want to talk to me or was over there. Well a week ago (almost 2 months after I emailed him) I get this long email about all the stuff that's been going on in his life. He broke up with that girl, got a promotion, thinking about buying a house. He asked me some questions as to what I was up to and then said "anything else new"? and right after that he asked "are you dating"? Wouldn't that kind of fall into the "anything else new" category? Why did he separate that out? This is the way he ended the email word for word:

"Oh, and your email wasn't awkward in the slightest! In fact, it made me feel very good that you still thought about me now and then. I do the same with you and it is nice to have the validation, you know? Sorry it took me so long to write, I assure you it wasn't because I didn't want to talk to

you. I just wanted some resolution on everything going on. I had little time to spare with my tornado of a life lately. Thanks for the email and I look forward to hearing back from you!"

It's been 10 days since I wrote him and haven't heard back yet, but I know he's busy. It took him almost 2 weeks to call me and ask me out after we first met, so I guess it doesn't surprise me. Do you think he may want to go out again and see what happens between us?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 4:20pm
I was answering YOUR question:

"anything else new"? and right after that he asked "are you dating"? Wouldn't that kind of fall into the "anything else new" category? Why did he separate that out?

I was saying - maybe he seperated it out b/c he was asking you if anything was new! Anything being anything - not JUST dating...

Go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 1:09pm
Please just be careful. I had an ex e-mail me out of the blue trying to catch up, which I was perfectly willing to do. However it turned out that he was in the middle of a break-up or fight with his live-in girlfriend (who he said he had broken up with) and ended up sticking me in the middle of the whole thing. I got harrassing e-mails from her (she broke into his account and found out he contacted me) and had to explain myself when I hadn't done anything wrong, and had in fact wished him well in efforts to fix things with her. While I would have liked to have really seen how things were going for him in his life, it was totally not worth what he put me through. This was just my personal experience, and I'm sure there are tons who have had good outcomes to this type of situation, so please just be careful about what both of you are after.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 12:00pm
No he actually did say "are you dating" after "anything new". Reread the post.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 10:13am
Given the amount of time in between contacts, I would think that he's just interested in catching up with you, but doesn't necessarily want to start dating again. I would go into meeting him (if he suggests it) with that attitude and not gets your hopes up about getting back together with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 10:10am
Anything else new? As in, have you gotten a new job or promotion? Started a new hobby? Started going to the gym? Became an aunt...etc?? Why did you automatically assume he meant dating someone...because thats what you want to hear? Be careful here. It sounds like you are trying to "read into" what he is saying b/c you want to start something up again. Thats fine...but let it flow. Don't believe what you want to believe - be clear with him and make him tell you exactly what his intentions are.

Another question...while you waiting for him to email/phone you, are you dating others? Have you dated others in the last two years? Because you may be giving him the impression that you are pining away for him - not good. That gives too much pressure to make things work that they may not.

Good luck! And let us know how it goes, GO.