Does this sound strange???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Does this sound strange???
9
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:52pm

I am on Match and have been going on dates here and there.... My goal this year is to find a lasting relationship, whether or not it results in marriage. Even though, that is what I want, in the long run.

Anyway, I was chatting through email last night with this new guy for the first time. He's cute and a chef, so I am thinking to myself, "Score! What a great catch"! I still think this but he is getting a little over-whelming (yes, it's only the next day and we have not even met). We plan on chatting on the phone tomorrow, so he sent me an email telling me how excited he is to finally talk. I think this is cute and nice, but not necessary. Then I get this email again, this morning a couple of hours later telling me, "I cannot stop thinking about you"!! I am freaking out a little but, because I feel a little over-whelmed by this..... Am I over-reacting or do I have good reason to feel this way? Please tell me if I am being stupid or not...

Thanks!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:02pm
I would feel the same way you do. The fact that he is emailing you so much and is over-enthusiastic would make me think that he is not protraying himself honestly and might not be as good as he makes himself out to be. That is the problem with those dating websites that people can lie to you and sometimes are just on there to waste time and have fun at another person's expense. If I were you I would lower any expections that you have of him this way you won't be dissapointed if it turns out he isn't who he says he is.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:09pm

Yeah, I get the same way as you... I am put off when I guy who doesn't know me gets overly excited too soon. I just had that happen recently, actually, with an ex-chef. Hmm.

I usually think the guy has built me up in his mind too much, and it makes me worried that he won't appreciate the real me as he gets to know me. It's overwhelming, and puts too much pressure on the situation from the get go. I prefer to get to know someone a little better and have those sparks build.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:40pm
It just makes me feel like it's not natural and if I don't like him, it will crush him. It almost make me feel it's a little desperate, which is a turn-off.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:50pm

I agree with the generation consensus. This is something to keep in the back of your mind. He might be truly excited and want to learn more about you. It might not be anything awful or evil, but it could be a sign of insecurity on his part. He might just be nervous and not know how to act normally. I suggest you not judge him too harshly, but keep a skeptical eye.

This situation makes me wonder how men and women ever actually get together. Think about it - it takes just the right amount of interest by just the right people at just the right time for us to be open to someone. If the right guy or girl comes-on just a little too strongly we write them off. Timing, chemistry, approach, attitude, and situation must all work together in order to create that magic/spark/connection. Is it any wonder so many of us are single???

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:57pm

Desperate is definitely a turn off. Confident is a turn on.

As for crushing him... I just went through this last week with that guy I mentioned. We went out twice, and he was way too into me and showing red flags like possessiveness, so I ended things. He seemed crushed. I just received another message from him yesterday, begging me to reconsider. Yeah, big turnoff. It's too bad, because we really did connect on our first date, but I couldn't get past these huge red flags.

If this guy is crushed after one date (if you decide to see him and don't like him), that's not a great sign about his emotional stability. Disappointed I can see, but "crushed" is another story.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:59pm
I have always wondered that same thing, how the heck do two people get together? I guess that just means when it does happen and it's good, you have to cherish it!!! Well, I am going to try and go into this date with an open mind when I meet him. I just always get freaked out when somebody seems too excited before you even meet them. It never ends up good.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 2:27pm

Never say never. You could be pleasantly surprised.

I, too, wonder how we ever get together. It is a special find when you meet someone who seems to click with you just right.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 6:58pm

Hot fires burn fast.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:16am
Hi... I am speaking from my own perspective.... It is easier for a man to communicate emotions through written words, he may be getting a feeling from Your voice giving him a comfort level to spill... or You could be right, You just have to go through the candy store and taste some bad candy to get to the good.... Richard