Does therapy....
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| Tue, 09-25-2007 - 10:50am |
really work?
I ask this question as a two-fold....
One, I have started therapy myself and have found a really great therapist. We've just started to get into the work and I am finding out she is really good. What I struggle with, is the fact that I am going to grad school to get my masters for counseling and I am in my last year of school. So when I ask myself, does this work, I really wonder what therapy does to help? I was recently in a relationship that brought out things in myself for the first time that I noticed had to be resolved before I could ever help anyone else. Why this one relationship affected so MUCH more then others is because I guess we really had a deep connection, but also triggered issues in each other that needs to be resolved. At least that is what my therapist says and I do feel she is right. One thing therapy does if you have a good therapist, is make you realize why you do things. But my question is, does it really help in the long end? If so, how does it help? How do these things end up getting resolved? There has to be more then just getting these issues out into the open. These are the things we don't talk about in school.
For the second part of my dilemma, my ex was contacting me via text and phone. I still adore him and I know he loves me. I continued to allow him to contact me because I told him that if he got help himself, I would stand next to him. And he did. He has been seeing a therapist for about a month now. And he is committed to continuing the therapy. But now, he has been Dr. Jekkel and Mr. Hyde. One moment he wants to confide in me what he has been learning and the next, he is getting so ANGRY at me for the smallest things. I learned after we broke up, he has addiction issues. He was able to suppress them while we dated for the 8 months we were together, but once I broke up with him, they all came crashing out. My counselor says that he could not suppress them anymore because he does not know how to deal with his emotions and my break up with him really devastated him. We have decided not to contact each other anymore, in order to focus on healing ourselves. And I am sure this is over, which breaks my heart, even though I know it is for the best for both of us for the moment. Maybe one day we will find our way back to each other. Who knows.
But back to my question in my mind..... Does therapy REALLY help, because I feel right now that things are just getting worse.

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Smile,
Deirdre
I am not going to get into a debate about this.... But I do want to comment on a couple of things. You have to realize that most terms, such as "psychiatrist's couch" exist because at one time, the only people who did therapy were psychiatrists when Psychology was a budding science, like over 100 years ago. Yes, Psychology is a science, which is also confirmed with research to back it up. Freud who was also a M.D. practiced and basically founded Psychology. Freud is who coined the term "psychiatrist's couch" because he would practice his therapy on a couch. He would, not the patients.
As well, Psychology today has evolved immensely since the 1800's. Today most psychiatrist do not do therapy, it is almost below them to do therapy. They really do focus on research and drugs. These people have been trained more on research and drug therapy. But not getting into the actual head and reasons behind abuse, trauma and the such.
It does sound kind of like an exam question, doesn't it? Te, he, I never would have thought that.
I guess I am now questioning this for the first time because I am on the other end of the counseling dynamic. Before I started therapy, there was no question that it helped. Of course it does, I would not go into the profession if it didn't, I thought. But now, I really do wonder because I am in it and it is not easy. So far, I see it being painful and it really is forcing me to see things I never knew were issues. And I see how my ex would attack me because he is hurting while learning his issues, too.
So for the first time, I am thinking this and wonder, does it work? And what if it doesn't? Am I wasting my time (like five years) and so much money, if it really doesn't? But I guess those who actually go therapy have acknowledged they have issues and are dealing with them. And if they're willing to deal with them, then hopefully they will do the work needed to get through it.
:)
Entirely resolved? Probably not.
What it did for me, though,
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Would you like to elaborate on what unhealthy cycle you were repeating with men..unless it's strictly between doctor and patient ?
Not really.
By the way, I went to therapy for a few months -- first with the ex, and then right after our breakup. To an earlier point you made, I definitely don't think therapists keep you in a cycle of needing to return for the rest of your life. She gave me some very practical, down-to-earth tools to use. Well worth the time and the soul-searching she inspired.
I have also always been in tune with my emotions, and willing to "work on myself" - but, very honestly, some of the work I did in those few months would have taken me years, and probably several more failed relationships, to address if I hadn't had an objective third party help me along the way.
Just my 2 cents.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
If you benefited from therapy, then good for you. To each his(her) own I guess. I just know I wouldn't benefit from therapy -- not that I need any. (But as Frasier would say , most mental patients think they are perfectly normal ! )
The world needs good therapists kcole.
Never say never :)
I have always had a good head on my shoulders and always thought the same thing, "I don't need it and will never need it". Well I am 32 and it took just one person to bring out things in myself that I realized were not healthy. As my therspist says, sometimes it takes a very strong and deep emotional connection wtih somebody to bring out a lot of issues that need to be healed from your past. In life, we are always learning.
You just never know....
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