Does therapy....
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| Tue, 09-25-2007 - 10:50am |
really work?
I ask this question as a two-fold....
One, I have started therapy myself and have found a really great therapist. We've just started to get into the work and I am finding out she is really good. What I struggle with, is the fact that I am going to grad school to get my masters for counseling and I am in my last year of school. So when I ask myself, does this work, I really wonder what therapy does to help? I was recently in a relationship that brought out things in myself for the first time that I noticed had to be resolved before I could ever help anyone else. Why this one relationship affected so MUCH more then others is because I guess we really had a deep connection, but also triggered issues in each other that needs to be resolved. At least that is what my therapist says and I do feel she is right. One thing therapy does if you have a good therapist, is make you realize why you do things. But my question is, does it really help in the long end? If so, how does it help? How do these things end up getting resolved? There has to be more then just getting these issues out into the open. These are the things we don't talk about in school.
For the second part of my dilemma, my ex was contacting me via text and phone. I still adore him and I know he loves me. I continued to allow him to contact me because I told him that if he got help himself, I would stand next to him. And he did. He has been seeing a therapist for about a month now. And he is committed to continuing the therapy. But now, he has been Dr. Jekkel and Mr. Hyde. One moment he wants to confide in me what he has been learning and the next, he is getting so ANGRY at me for the smallest things. I learned after we broke up, he has addiction issues. He was able to suppress them while we dated for the 8 months we were together, but once I broke up with him, they all came crashing out. My counselor says that he could not suppress them anymore because he does not know how to deal with his emotions and my break up with him really devastated him. We have decided not to contact each other anymore, in order to focus on healing ourselves. And I am sure this is over, which breaks my heart, even though I know it is for the best for both of us for the moment. Maybe one day we will find our way back to each other. Who knows.
But back to my question in my mind..... Does therapy REALLY help, because I feel right now that things are just getting worse.

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I agree with your therapist.
>> not that I need any. <<
Nobody said you did.
I echo kcole's "never say never." I was the same way for years, and believed the stigma that going to therapy meant you were "off" in some way. I now know that's not true at all, and I also know that a lot more people go to therapy than you'd think. It's really common, and really normal. :)
All I can say is opinions change.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Well as you know I just finished my MA in psych and though I didnt specialize in counseling, I did have to take a few of the core counseling courses to be eligible for licensure.
What a fun and interesting thread!!
I am currently going for psychology and hope to get my counseling degree also!!
Sounds like the relationship triggered things deep down and brought them back up to light.
I do believe it helps. A therapist, a good therapist will guide you in your own discovery. They can point out patterns or behaviors that we are blind to, and help us work through our problems. They are not there to hold our hand or make us feel like we can't solve our problems without them.
Sounds like you have triggered another emotion in the middle of all of what your working through by having to let this ex go, which in turn could trigger more with you.
I think if you have a good therapist that you trust and work well with, who you have stated has helped you see things and make progress, stick with it.
Actually there is a lot a psychology major could tell you that an experienced grandmother wouldn't know.
And actually therapy does not want dependence, it wants independence for the client. (at least a good therapist).
You are totally entitled to your opinion, but please don't try to mix facts with mis-information, old sayings from decades ago or what you see on tv or in movies.
I actually enjoy Dr. Phil. He is great at making people look at the issues and he isn't afraid of asking them to do so. Many people get so stuck into patterns in life, they can't look at themselves
Hey Ruby,
I do agree with everything you said. But I also feel that you don't have to have a mental illness to benefit from counseling or therapy. I feel like the stigma of therapy still exists because people feel that in order to benefit or need it, there must be something seriously wrong with the person. I honestly feel that at any certain point in most peoples' lives, anyone could benefit from the guidance and insight from counseling to help get them through issues that are keeping them from happiness and endless sabotaging cycles we get ourselves into.
For me personally, I just need guidance as to how to get over my last relationship and find new ways to help myself stop this cycle of choosing the wrong men.
Nice to hear from you!!
Hmmmm I don't really know that you have to be mentally ill to seek counseling.
I sought counseling after a divorce, I did not consider myself mentally ill because I was sad and needed to talk things out with someone unbiased. The people in my family and my friends were too close to the situation to speak to about it and couldn't be fair to me about it and I really needed to talk about my feelings on the matter.
Smile,
Deirdre
For lovin and kcole,
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