Down with love!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2007
Down with love!
17
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 7:40pm

Background:
40
Mom of 2
Entrepreneur
Divorced
Considered attractive, nice, together, yaddah yaddah yaddah...
Dumped in April by someone who supposedly wanted to get married. Together 2 1/2 yrs

Sooo, I jumped right back out there and started dating again. It was good, fine, fun etc. Mainly it kept me from thinking about my ex and pining away for a reconciliation. I definetly do not want that now. In fact, I'm really disgusted by him. Anyway, I've reached a point where I don't even want to date anymore. I have had no problems meeting men, but I just don't want to get hurt and I've been lied to by so many men that I just want to swear off of them for a while.

I love my kids and we have a wonderful family life. They're doing great compared to me and want me to get another boyfriend. (how cute!) I need adult conversation and companionship regularly as well so I'm going to sign up to do some volunteer work.

My sex drive has dropped from a 10 to a 0. I have no desire for the male touch. I just don't want to be bothered. Has anyone else been here?

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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 9:43pm

I think we've probably all been there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 11:29am

I'm there. Though I still desire companionship and someone special in my life, I've quit dating for now and probably for awhile.

I'm still trying to get past a breakup with a man I still want and trying to date has only made me more miserable and want him back even more. So I'm hanging it up for awhile and exploring friends-only companionship and pursuing personal interests.

I quit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 12:40pm
Yes, I have been there - usually after a serious relationship ends. April was not all that long ago -- perhaps you just need more time to heal from that loss before you will be ready to get back out there. There's nothing wrong with just taking care of YOU for awhile. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 2:10pm
Sorry but when you say : it gets me curious.
I'm a guy but I just want to know why is it so easy for you to find dates and for others is not.
How do you "meet" them? Do you work in a bar or something?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 4:36pm
I know where you are at. Give yourself time to grieve. leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2007
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 1:16am

No, I don't work in a bar. I date online, people I meet through work and hobbies.

First of all as I said, other people consider me attractive, together, fun, nice, etc. My friends tell me this and men tell me this. I don't know what it is. I just consider myself a good person and I take good care of myself. I am respectful, open and friendly. I dress is a very professional yet feminine style at work and in my leisure time I dress for the occasion. I just have something that people are drawn to. It's been like that all of my life. I'm just "different." I don't fit into a mold and people are intrigued by that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 12:45pm
Oh I see.
Just out of curiosity why were you divorced and dumped in the past if you are so attractive, nice, and "together", what ever that means, lol. I'm not trying to be obnoxious just want to learn here.
thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2007
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 2:03pm

For your benefit and the benefit of any other haters out there: It takes two people to make a relationship. We all come to the table with our individual attributes and flaws. Sometimes those characteristics mesh and sometimes they do not.

Now if you have any additional Y-Chromosome driven tirades, I suggest you take them to Askmen.com. This site is not about bashing people.




Edited 8/18/2007 2:26 pm ET by caligirl2007
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 2:43pm

What a strange view of relationships! You really think that just because one of the two people in a couple is attractive and has their act together, that automatically means every relationship they are in is going to work out? That makes absolutely no sense at all.

Sheri

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 8:36pm

The thing about failed relationships there is a strong tendency to blame one party or the other and/or that something is wrong with you (or him/her).

I believe that both parties can be "perfect" people but not just compatible. Plain and simple as that. And then there are "less-than-perfect" people who find each other and are content as partners. I find it amazing to see how certain couples are couples but for whatever myriad of reasons, there you go.

Mark

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