Down with love!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2007
Down with love!
17
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 7:40pm

Background:
40
Mom of 2
Entrepreneur
Divorced
Considered attractive, nice, together, yaddah yaddah yaddah...
Dumped in April by someone who supposedly wanted to get married. Together 2 1/2 yrs

Sooo, I jumped right back out there and started dating again. It was good, fine, fun etc. Mainly it kept me from thinking about my ex and pining away for a reconciliation. I definetly do not want that now. In fact, I'm really disgusted by him. Anyway, I've reached a point where I don't even want to date anymore. I have had no problems meeting men, but I just don't want to get hurt and I've been lied to by so many men that I just want to swear off of them for a while.

I love my kids and we have a wonderful family life. They're doing great compared to me and want me to get another boyfriend. (how cute!) I need adult conversation and companionship regularly as well so I'm going to sign up to do some volunteer work.

My sex drive has dropped from a 10 to a 0. I have no desire for the male touch. I just don't want to be bothered. Has anyone else been here?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2007
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 1:44am
I said, "We all come to the table with our individual attributes and flaws. Sometimes those characteristics mesh and sometimes they do not."



Edited 8/19/2007 1:51 am ET by caligirl2007
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 11:44am

Okay...did you realize that my post was to jackmoin not to you? I'm confused by your response if you did.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2007
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 12:54pm
Ooooooh. Ok. Thanks for the clarification. I really appreciate that. My apologies.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 5:26pm

You asked, so here I go...


Dated a guy (who was divorced w/ 3 kids & 1 step) for 3 years. His kids wanted us to get married. His EX-WIFE wanted us to get married.


He was seeing someone else behind my back, got engaged to her, I heard about it from 2 sources: (1) best friend; (2) one of his daughters.


He told me about it after the wedding.


The concept of being near a guy made me physically ill. For 7 years, I refused to date or go out with anyone but my girlfriends or alone. I wouldn't even read books written by men, unless I had to.


I got past it. Now I'm on the other side, with a wonderful DBF who loves me.


summer 2010 sig by Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2007
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 10:50pm

Oh my gosh! My heart aches when I read that.

Since I've sworn off of men for the past few weeks all of the break up emotions are coming to the surface again...all except the reconciliation part. To me that was my biggest fear. My clever little trick was to occupy myself with dates. It worked but now I have to finish the process.

I know time will heal, but there are times when I am unable to control the tears. Right now I do not believe in love, I do not believe that there is anyone out there for me and I cannot bear to have my heart broken again. What did you do to get through the pain?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 12:15am

"Since I've sworn off of men for the past few weeks all of the break up emotions are coming to the surface again...all except the reconciliation part. To me that was my biggest fear. My clever little trick was to occupy myself with dates. It worked but now I have to finish the process."


I know time will heal, but there are times when I am unable to control the tears. Right now I do not believe in love, I do not believe that there is anyone out there for me and I cannot bear to have my heart broken again. What did you do to get through the pain?"


Going on dates won't do it. Let the emotions come to the surface. Cry. Get mad. I sold everything he gave me - CD player, leather jacket, stuffed animals... you name it. It was my purge. I considered throwing it out, but then decided that there was some profit to be had.


I also focused on ME. I worked on getting

summer 2010 sig by Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 5:23pm
Sorry I promise I wasn't bashing you. Obviously your not in a good mood so I think your snapping at me, no? I was just being cocky, but my question to you was genuinely sincere.
Can you give me more advice, suggestions?

Pages