ended things but sad over it
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| Sun, 11-18-2007 - 1:58pm |
I ended things with this guy I was dating for almost three months. He was a good person but I think there were just too many differences between us and I realized that in the long run if someone else came along who was better suited to me I'd end up dumping him for the new guy, and I just can't see the point of dating someone if that's how I really feel deep down, even if they are wonderful on the surface and treat me well with respect.
Anyway, he was actually really nice about ending it and wants to remain friends and even admitted that he just doesn't think he's ready to be with anyone which was something I suspected anyway. The whole thing made me a little sadder because in the past when I've ended things with guys they've been a little more dramatic and hurt and didn't want to keep in touch and I was okay with it and in one case, really glad. I think in this case his good nature and sensitivity just reminded me how great of a guy he is but sadly, in the long run, he's not the right one. At least I got to see that there are still good men out there...I almost started to doubt my decision because he's was one of the most straight-forward, kind men I've ever dated but I also had to go with my gut and face our differences and the fact that we don't click on certain levels. but alas that's the point of dating, to give someone a chance for a few weeks or months and see if they work for you.

You explained it perfectly and it sounds totally reasonable, totally right and, by the way, very ethical of you to end things now.
I had to do that with a guy several years ago.
so you're one of those guys who assumes all single women have cats i see... funny thing is i don't even like cats much.... more of a fish person quite honestly.
and what you're saying is if you met a nice girl who would make a good wife and mother that would be the only criteria she'd all have to fulfill? it wouldn't matter to you at all if you two had nothing in common, if she had no appreciation for your interests, if you maybe didn't even find her attractive at all? if you're into online dating, how do you choose someone-- eeeny meenie minee mo?
what i've learned from this experience is that there are a lot of good people in the world, but it doesn't mean that they're all exactly right for you. you wouldn't agree?
I agree. I've dated nice men before like this but if you're not feeling that spark and you allow to them to think it's there for several months or years, then the eventual breakup is even more painful and I wanted to avoid that. I know there are women out there who would stay in this sort of situation out of fear of being alone and then ten years later with two kids in tow wonder why they allowed it to go on because they still have little to no desire for the poor guy who doesn't have a clue that his wife is just not that into him but married him because he's a decent guy and a "good provider."
this was a very tough call for me but i saw the writing on the wall and i had to pay attention to it. if i just wanted a boyfriend i would have stayed with him but i also wanted to best friend and soulmate and it wasn't possible in this situation.
*Hugs*
You did the right thing and it's ok to be sad about it.