Eternally single?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2007
Eternally single?
6
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 4:00pm
Does anyone ever feel like they're destined to be eternally single? I am an attractive woman who just turned 40, but look about 30, am very athletic, have my kids raised, been divorced 13 years now and NEVER have a date. What's up with that? I've tried the Match.com, Yahoo Personals, Fitness singles, and nothing. No one hardly even writes to me on there. I just don't understand it. I don't think my standards are too high - there's no one even offering! Does anyone else have this problem? Don't get me wrong, I have had boyfriends over the past 13 years, but nothing ever panned out. Any ideas? Are some people just destined to be single?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2006
In reply to: rnner66
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 4:19pm

Well, it all depends on your demographics. If you live on the East side of the U.S., assuming you do live in the US, then your chances are slimmer of finding a mate than if you lived on the West side like say, Nevada, or LA.

It might not be you, just where you live where the ratio of women are larger than the ratio of men. Maybe a move is in order?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2007
In reply to: rnner66
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 4:24pm
That is so funny you should mention a move. I had been planning that as soon as my youngest turned 18 and graduated from high school. She is a senior this year, but now she's freakin' pregnant...so my move may be delayed a bit. I actually live near the Seattle area, but am in an area that is mostly young families or retired people. That is a huge part of the problem. Maybe I can move closer to Seattle (where I work anyway!) and that will help. Although, dating people that live closer to town isn't a problem. They're not offering either. I commute 1-1/2 hours to downtown Seattle, so it is a jaunt but still do-able. I'm actually considering a move to a warmer and DRIER state! I'm sick of this rainy and windy climate. Been here way too long!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
In reply to: rnner66
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 5:51pm

I think we're at an odd age.

Seems to me that men - even old, unattractive men with no teeth - seem to think they can get hot 20-somethings, so they don't show much interest in women within their age range.

I'm 41, and I tend to date younger guys (30's). By then they usually know if they don't want kids (I don't) and are into a lot of the same stuff I'm into. But I'm competing with the 20/30 AND 40 age groups.

Men in their 40's are usually divorced out of their starter marriage and looking for Bambi.

I don't have any interest in men 50 and up.

Slim pickins. I'm so glad I decided 20+ years ago that I never wanted to get married...takes a lot of pressure off!

And yes - I think some people are going to spend their lives single. By choice or by fate. I think the whole "there's someone for everyone" is at best, fantasy, at worst, bull excrement.


Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: rnner66
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 11:45am

Why not try posting an ad in one of the states which you are considering moving to?

I have to admit though, I can't imagine moving in order to find a mate!? Is the male to female ratio really THAT bad in some areas? Jeesh. If so, that's unbelievable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2007
In reply to: rnner66
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 11:53am
I totally agree that we are at an odd age...I either get really young guys (my daughter's age!) or much older guys (mid 50's!) hitting on me. I'm not interested in either, or haven't been yet anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
In reply to: rnner66
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 4:12pm

I used to limit myself to men of certain races, age range, and height but invaribly someone who's outside the range always managed to capture my fascination and I would fall for him pretty hard. So lesson learned is even when you have certain requirements, they will change. I definately have standards. I didn't consciously change them but these things just creep up on you. All the better for me I suppose b/c now my pool get bigger. I still don't compromise my standards b/c there are certain things that have remained constant such as personal character, world view, etc...so if the man still has these things, I will be happy. I'm sure it's evolving still.