ever feel freakish

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2005
ever feel freakish
20
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 8:19pm
because you're single? i've been feeling that way for the past year or so now. I'm 27 and was engaged once, been broken up with him for 2 and a half years. Most girls my age are in a race to get married, but not me. Yet i still feel pressure just because this is what all my peers are doing. I feel like peopel think something is wrong with me because i havent found the one. I dont know if i will ever find the one. at 27 i am feeling old and it seems like our society is obsessed with youth. I feel like i am too old and damaged goods for men these days! Seems like they all want a 23 year old. Sometimes i just wish things had worked out with my ex...i never thought being single would be so difficult. but i've realized the main part of it being difficult is how other people make me feel for it ): I'm tired of people asking if i'm dating anyone and i'm tired of not meeting any people who are single. i guess i am venting but i dont know anyone these days who is single...people i know are in RL's even if they are miserable because they say it's better than being alone...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 8:53pm

If only I had a nickel for every time I've been hounded.

You are definitely not alone in your feelings. It's a pretty conventional reaction for our society. "Girl over 21 must be in serious relationship and on road to marriage. ASAP." It's genetic code or something.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 1:46am

Being single is a state of mind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 1:48am
I was in a long-tern realtioship, for about 4 1/2 years, and I am 29 years old.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 6:31pm

If you think you're old at 27 think again. Geeze - I'm 35. And the guys MY age want to date 27-year-olds. LOL!

Seriously though - the people I know that are married and have kids - you know, the "American Dream" are all incredibly unhappy people. For example - one woman I work with is 47 years old and now single. Her and her husband (ex husband) got married when they were 23 because it was "what they were supposed to do." She chose to be a stay at home wife and not go to school. You know what happened? He left her after 20 years of marriage for someone with an education and who did things besides sit at home. She recently told me that she envies me because I'm in school and never married - I can do what I want and so forth and I have my whole life ahead of me.

The kids thing is another issue entirely but I love it when people try their best to tell me "HOW GREAT" it is to have children while in the same sentence expressing bitterly to me when I say I'm going to Las Vegas or California this summer or that I slept in till 10 a.m. yesterday - "it must be *nice* to have time to yourself." I'm just not buying that it's all that great.

She's just one example but probably the most extreme that I know of. Marriage is not the key to happiness. You have to be happy with YOU - the marriage thing can wait until the right person comes along. And you don't HAVE to ever marry. Don't let anyone else's narrow view of life mold your own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 8:26am

It's funny - I never get any grief from anyone for being single; in fact, I get PRAISED for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 11:44am
I disagree. I think you make a choice to be in a good relationship vs. a bad one. If it were only a matter of choice to be in the perfect relationship, none of us would be here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 5:51pm
I think that these feelings are what you are projecting onto yourself. The people who are asking you if you are dating and why you are still single are maybe just trying to make conversation or they are more worried about your life than you are because they have nothing else to talk about or worry about. Their lives must be boring. If you are old at 27 then I must be ancient at 30. Just enjoy your life and don't worry about what others think about you. You are single because you haven't found the right one that makes you happy yet. Personally I feel sorry for those people that are in unhappy r'ships and can't get out of them because they fear being alone. It shows that they dont' love themselves enough to try to create happiness for themselves so they would rather be miserable in the wrong relationship just to have a body there. As soon as you start loving yourself with or without a man that's when things will start falling into place. They have for me. It took me until 30 years old to be confident and happy on my own and not needing a man and I've never felt better about myself. Of course I want a man in my life and I"m hoping that i meet the one in the near future but I'm happy enough with my life to not need one around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 8:19pm
I see your point.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 6:39am

It's only a choice in that we choose to not be in a bad relationship just to be in one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 9:45am
I agree with shy on this. Most people dont' choose to be single but they choose to not be in a relationship that's not right for them. But it's really out of our hands as to whether we will meet that right person for us or when that person comes into our lives.

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