Everything is Played Out

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Everything is Played Out
Fri, 05-03-2013 - 6:00pm

Hello everyone;

So me now being 59 years old and been to enough meet up single events and some dating and single dances and all of that scene its all played out for me.. I do not enjoy any of this anymore and all I want is to be in a relationship and live in the country ... I cannot stand another single event or being single another minute...

This weekend there are so many things for couples going on outdoors and although I have asked a few people to go they all declined so I will be going by myself.. That I dont mind but there will be plenty of couples and kids at these outdoor venues...and that is going to be very depressing...

So now what?? I know we have talked about this stuff before but its getting on my nerves.. I really need a Plan Z now like maybe moving to Belize or a deserted island and take up fishing...

I mean what now?

My best guy friend Nick passed away in March and it really hurts alot... He was my age.. Now there is another mutual guy friend of ours who wants to sort of hang out with me but I dont like him very much as he is such a pain.....

So there it is and I know I should be greatful and on a good day I am but feeling so down and out .. Oh; I even ordered a concert ticket for the group Train just for myself... How depressing is that??




iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Fri, 05-03-2013 - 6:28pm

Hi Free,

Unlike some people here who may offer really positive advice on things to do......I can just say that I feel your pain.  I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend - that can't be easy.

People always say "join meet ups" and "go to things in your area" "take classes" and "volunteer".......unfortunately for me I haven't found any of these things fit my lifestyle (although these are good suggestions).  I know you have to "try" but frequently, it seems the harder I try, the more difficult it becomes to meet and be accepted by people.  I live in an apartment building and a new (single) woman moved in.......I thought maybe her and I might hit it off (we talked for quite a while in the laundry room).  I was thinking of asking her if she might want to go out one night for a glass of wine or hang out......but every time I've seen her since then, she is quiet and standoff-ish, so I haven't asked.

Meeting people is difficult and frankly only becomes more difficult as we get older (generally......I don't mean to be negative).  I find sometimes acceptance comes in the form of enjoying your own company and knowing that really, being on your own is much better than being in a bad relationship.  Also, we never really know what's coming around the corner for us in life......I watched a documentary about marriage last year and it showed a few women 40+ getting married for the first time......I like to think that if it's meant, maybe it will happen.......

From your posts, I can tell that you have a lot to offer.  Hang in there........I think (surprisingly) many people feel the same angst about their lifestyles or situations (married/divorced/kids/exes/widows & widowers, etc.......).

I hope at least knowing you have some company brings a little comfort :)