ex-bf taking my business idea...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2005
ex-bf taking my business idea...?
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 8:49pm

background:

my co-worker/ex-bf dumped me earlier this year because of his strong religious beliefs. i told him during the relationship that i supported anything he did. in other words, not be against his religion, but not necessarily attend any type of religious functions. we have never worked together, he sits in a different bldg, have different boss. after the breakup he's been pretty much trying to avoid me till one day he was brave enough to stop by to chat so i thought everything went well for while, but for whatever reason when i run into him in another part of campus - he freaks out and literally runs away from me (one time in a middle of a conversation about food - he left and i didn't realize he even left because i looked down for like 5 secs). when he visits me (btw, his team sits on my floor, but he is in a totally different side of campus that's why he's always around in my area) he refers/reminece about things we did or say things under his breath like "you have beautiful hair, etc.". he dumped me via the telephone after dating for 2-3 months (known him about 4 months prior to dating), but NOTHING harsh came out of that conversation. he told me that i'm "amazing/beautiful, etc.", but needed someone to share the same religious beliefs as him.

current situation:

the "ex" came by to my work office...and i said "oh, i didn't know you're going to be speaking at the employee event today?!" he's like "yah, are you gonna come?" i said, "sure, my boss isn't here today"...and he said "that's cool!" (i have a boss that is really strict)...then...he's like "by the way, my friend is opening up a candy store and i'm going to help her out with managing 1 of 2 locations" (for the purposes of this posting - it's really not a candy store, but just in case if anyone reads this that may know him)...i said, "oh cool!"...btw, he KNOWS that i've ALWAYS wanted to do that business...

then he keeps referring to "my friend" is opening it...and i said, "your 'friend' is a girl, right?!" ...he said "yes"....and he said i'm gonna help her "manage" the "ABC" location...so me being nosy i asked questions about the "business"...and he was surprisingly really open about it. (btw, i never could get away from my desk because another management person needed my help at tthat time he was speaking at the event).

so right now i don't know if he told me that he's going into the "candy" business just to piss me off OR ...to use it as an ice breaker with me...because the last time he visited me...it seeemed quite awkward...but it always seems that way, but he TRIES to joke around with me to see if everything is "cool" all the time and i do the same.

...also, could this "girl" be his new gf and he's sharing my ideas (mind you, the business plan that he explained to me is very similar to mine that i shared with him when i was dating him for approx 2-3 months)...on the other hand, the fact that he shared the location, name of business, etc. with me (even though the GIRL is the one that owns it and he will manage it)...tells me that...he's using the "candy" thing as "common ground" to start a conversation with me because he knows I LOVE doing that "candy" stuff. So when he left to go to a meeting, i told him we're gonna have to talk about this new business of his!...because at the time, it SEEMED like he was really sincere about sharing his new adventure with me and i was excited for him (and for the girl)...then...after he left, i began think too much into it...

my coworkers (that actually listened in my conversation with him - knows the situation between the both of us) think that guys don't think that much into ice-breakers (i.e. that it was personal to me or that the "candy" thing is smthg passionate to me)...so they feel it was an icebreaker without any intent to "hurt" me...and that he was basically trying to have me "open up" to him...which worked, but now i'm confused as to if he was really sincere in sharing OR just rubbing it in my face (about the business and this "girl" he is helping)...

my brother also told me that the "candy" business isn't really a unique idea like opening up a flower shop or smthg...this is true. i'm just in awe about the coincidence because this business is typically owned/managed/started by a female rather than a man and of all things...this is the type of business that he KNOWS i'm passionate about.

so i'm not sure how to make sense of any of this...but what i am doing is giving him the benefit of the doubt (just being as positive as possible) because in the past, he's never done anything manipulative/ill-will towards me or anyone else (well, i still think if his religion is priority then he should do his research about me prior to dating - i think it's misleading, but i still care about him)...

so is he trying to be friends or cool with me OR rubbing it in?

...everyone tells me to forget about it, but it is hard to forget, when an ex-bf comes to shoot the breeze with you every now and then...any thoughts would be great!




Edited 6/15/2006 11:40 pm ET by marypoppins4life