Ex girlfriend that won't leave me alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Ex girlfriend that won't leave me alone
14
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 8:16am

I've been seperated from a women for over one year that will not leave me alone. I hear from her at least twice a week, and despite my requests that she leave me alone, I still hear from her. I can assure everyone that when I break up with someone, I make a clean break an never contact that person again. I ignore their emails, phone calls, and any other contact. I don't communicate anything back to her other than "Leave me alone."

In two hours yesterday she called me eight times to tell me she had wrecked her car and ask who could fix it.

What's interesting is that the more I ignore her or tell her to go away, the harder she tries to contact me.

I've even told her that I am in a new relationship with a women that I love and she won't leave me alone.

What she wants me to tell her is what she did to cause the break up of our relationship which I am not compelled to do. I know where any conversation will lead and do not want to go there. Plus I am committed to the women I am with and do not want to violate that.

I have shared all of this with the women I am with now and she has two ideas. The first is that she calls my ex and drives home the point. I am averse to this as she shouldn't clean up my dirty work. The second suggestion that she has is that I should contact her employer as she regularly sends me emails or calls me from work.

How do I finally get the message across to this women that I do not want to talk to her and that it is her responsibilty to get over her own issue?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 12:41pm

When she calls you, is she just constantly asking what she did to deserve the breakup? Or does she just call and proceed to attempt a conversation with you? You mentioned that this relationship ended over a year ago, so maybe you should just give her a reason?!? And you can get a restraining order against her but that is going to cost you a bigger fortune than if you just get your numbers changed. Basically, if you feel you don't deserve this, then you should invest in making this stop because she is clearly mentally unstable. However, my friend, if you do deserve this because maybe you did something to her (I don't want to assume anything but i gotta cover all the bases) or you talk to her some days and lead her on (people like this can't be given even a speck of attention), then address it and make her move on!

Good luck...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 5:31pm
Why is it not practical to change your numbers? How many do you have? Seems a small price to pay to get rid of her...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 5:39pm
I was thinking the same thing - if I were in his shoes, I'd change the number in a heartbeat!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 5:53pm

I have over one thousand phone numbers that I have transfered from phone, to phone, to my blackberry phone. You all don't laugh at me when I tell you that I've got phone numbers back from the early 90's. A lot of the people I talk to I only have a phone number for. (I'm one of those people that digitally keeps everything.) Even for my closest guy friends sometimes all I have is a phone number. I'll meet people at the park, golf course or grocery store and keep phone numbers. Wow, I'm starting to sound like a phone number junkie. I wonder if there is a board for things like that?

The other reason that I don't think it is practical is that she still knows where I work, my friends numbers, as well as everyone in my family.

One thing that was asked earlier is if I made it clear to her why we broke up. It is crystal clear to her Ladies and Gentlemen. What she is trying to do is get me to for forgive her for it. I have forgiven her, but she still doesn't understand why it is an issue.

He's the real issue folks, she's in her early fifty's lonely, vulnerable, and afraid that she is going to spend the rest of her life alone. She's also dillusional about what her exepectations of a relationship are.

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