To Facebook?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2012
To Facebook?
4
Tue, 12-31-2013 - 2:09am

Alright….there is a guy that works in my building that I am interested in. We haven’t really had the opportunity to interact face to face with each other. However, I know who he is and I know he knows who I am. Our matchmaking coworkers have been at work and all I’ve heard about the last month is that I need to meet him. They have even took liberties to team up with his immediate coworkers and they think its a good idea as well.
I’ve heard my number was given but was told that this guy feels like it is unnatural to call me before we have actually met. Problem is— We’ve seen each other at work but always at times where it is not opportune to officially introduce ourselves or chat (meetings, etc). The more I hear about him is that he is super nice, but kind of shy. He's about to rotate to a different department for a couple months and I think the likelihood of meeting organically will even be less when this happens. 
The single girl detective (not stalker...I promise!) in me noticed he does have a facebook. Would it be weird to message him or request to be friends? Part of me says it is kinda stalkerish. However, the other part says– why not? I don’t have anything to loose. Thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
In reply to: biziebee
Tue, 12-31-2013 - 10:02am

Since your co-workers are so friendly, don't any of you socialize outside of work? Couldn't someone put together a get together for anyone interested to meet at a club, something like a new year celebration on a Friday or Saturday night in January? Do you ever have a holiday or cultural pot luck at work? If not, maybe someone can organize one. I wouldn't facebook the guy. I'd either get someone to organize a group get together or just wait until he comes back from that other department. When you do meet in a natural way, don't flirt unless he does first, but be interested in him by asking questions like what he likes about work. Touch his arm and tell him you like his shirt. Guys usually like to make the first move but need a green light from a woman that she wouldn't turn him down if asked. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2012
In reply to: biziebee
Tue, 12-31-2013 - 1:32pm

People are friendly at work, but don't spend time together outside of work. We had a Christmas potluck a few weeks ago, but his whole section did not come. I just feel like we are never going to meet in a natural way, especially because I think we are both on the shy side. I have always waited for the guy to pursue and would like it that way. But is that still the rule anymore? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 12-31-2013 - 11:45pm

"Shy" is just another word for "insecure"!  Three year old children are shy, and adults are insecure!  All of these people are so sure you two are meant for each other........so WHY doesn't someone propose an after work get-together for a group of people that know each other.....and there must be such a group because your "group" seems to know that his "group" agrees that the two of you should get together.  If all these people are so lame about getting you two together, then put on your big girl pants, and leave work the same time he does, and go up to him and introduce yourself.  What is the worst thing that can happen?  One of you doesn't like the other, and nothing comes of it.  So???  Nothing is coming of it this way......and you never know, the two of you MIGHT just like each other.......so one of you has to have the guts to make it happen.  Why not you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 12-31-2013 - 11:45pm

"Shy" is just another word for "insecure"!  Three year old children are shy, and adults are insecure!  All of these people are so sure you two are meant for each other........so WHY doesn't someone propose an after work get-together for a group of people that know each other.....and there must be such a group because your "group" seems to know that his "group" agrees that the two of you should get together.  If all these people are so lame about getting you two together, then put on your big girl pants, and leave work the same time he does, and go up to him and introduce yourself.  What is the worst thing that can happen?  One of you doesn't like the other, and nothing comes of it.  So???  Nothing is coming of it this way......and you never know, the two of you MIGHT just like each other.......so one of you has to have the guts to make it happen.  Why not you?