Feedback.. Off Topic

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Feedback.. Off Topic
9
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 10:08am

Hi everyone ;;

I just need some feedback on something and some honest opinions...I am looking at a share situation with one man who owns a house.. His house is about an hour away in the country sort of from where I live now.. He sent me pictures and we talked on the p hone.. He says he works alot and is looking for someone to share some bills and watch out for the house. He said the whole house is available along with washer and dryer and backyard.. The pics looked good and the house looked clean.and the cost would be 600 a month..

It all sounds okay but not sure I want to live so far into countryside but things are tough right  now and not getting better with my family.. Maybe a stepping stone and I can finally take a deep breath and start my life on my own terms..

Not feeling afraid of the guy but I will be cautious and check him out and all so that isnt my main concern.. Main concern is moving again and starting over but things are bad still around here and just looking for a change.. I could always keep looking for a share but this seems ideal as the house would be pretty much to myself most days.

any thoughts???

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 02-11-2013 - 8:51pm

I can't believe I didn't think of this before but this is how I met my 1st DH--I had just graduated from law school & was living in an apt. w/ 2 women--they were both moving out for different reasons so I had placed an ad in the paper (this was before the day of computers, that's how old I am) for a "professional female" to have as a roommate & he answered it.  He came over to look around and then called later and asked what I decided.  I told him that I really wasn't comfortable having a man I didn't know as a roommate--so then he said "OK, do you want to go on a date?"  And the rest is history--and we never lived together before we got married cause our parents would have killed us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Sun, 02-10-2013 - 1:35pm

I have actually done this sort of thing several times, mainly off Craigslist.  Most of the time, it was fine.  Once, I rented a studio apartment from a French widow who had a mansion and rented out rooms.  It was great.  I would have stayed, but a couple with a little autistic boy moved in on the floor above me, and he would have frequent breaks where he would scream for hours.

For the most part, I have had better luck with male roomates rather than female. I think with the economy the way it is, more people are living in alternative situations like this.  Just be aware and check everything out, and go with your gut.  The only time I went against my instincts about a living situation, I really regretted it.

Good luck!  It's so hard to have to live in a situation where you have no privacy and have to answer to someone else.  I personally am not sure I would ever want to live with anyone full-time again.  Hopefully, this guy will be gone as much as he says he is.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 8:36pm
I'd be worried about moving in with a stranger, but that's me. They say you shouldn't be roommates with a friend, either. I'd definitely look into a background check on him, as he should do for you if he's sane. You want to make sure he doesn't have any drunken charges on his record or rape convictions or anything. At the very least, google him and check the sex offender registries nearby.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 7:13pm

Good luck, this sounds promising.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 6:39pm

Sounds like it could be a good opportunity.  How long of a commitment is he looking for?  As long as it's month to month, I would go for it.  That way you can get out of there if it doesn't work out.  

I think you'll get a good sense of him when you meet him - listen to your intuition!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 12:53pm

Gee I dont know how to ask someone if they have a criminal background..... they could say no... I think when I meet him my gut and intuition will kick in and I will know if he is a nut.. Heck; I have lived with nuts practically my whole life so I hope i would know by now..but then again I can miss a nut also as I have in past..

The jobs are basically the same (NONE).. except a few scattered around.... I did just apply again to a golf course for customer service out where the guys house is so imagine? I find a place to  live and a job.. I would pinch myself.. Anyhoo; forgot to say that I am in pure survival mode right now so I have to figure something out as single apartments are a fortune and things are just challenging right now so this is for pure survival.. I can always look around for other things while I rent a room somewhere..

It would be nice to have a yard again and maybe get a chance for some sun and outdoor space and barbecue...The guy sounds very laidback and carefree like myself ..well we shall see when I meet him...

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 12:45pm

I would be nervous about moving in with a strange man but you'd have to meet him & see--maybe you could get references or ask him to prove he doesn't have a criminal record.  Other than that I think it would be good.  I know you're tired of your sister's house so it would be a nice change of scenergy & if he's gone a lot it would be like you had your own house--plus it would be good for him to have someone keeping an eye on the house if he's gone a lot.  Do you think there would be any job opportunities out there?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 11:12am

Its a fortune to  live here in New York so that price is good for a whole house .. I am supposed to meet him after this massive snow storm .. You are right in that he and I could clash so I was thinking look at it short term and tell him month tomonth and if we dont get along I will move..

Yes; I will offer him 500 and see what he says.. I dont think he cares from what he sounds like on phone. He drives a truck for a living so he says and he is gone alot... It might be nice living in country again in a nice house with parks and beaches nearby and space..

hopefully he is not a nut job but hey you never know.... I could always leave..

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 11:00am

I would say go for it, but can you negotiate the rent?  Around here, entire apartments rent for just a couple hundred more.  I know you are further north and the cost of living there is higher, but that seems high to me.  I just Googled one room in NYC and it was $800 + up so I guess that's fairly comparable.  I suppose the only draw backs would be  the distance and then, if you hate it there, it would mean another move.  Have you met him in person?  I'd prob want to make sure that your personalities don't clash just in case he is home more often than he's suggested.