Feeling Needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Feeling Needed
7
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 12:14pm

So not to get on the whole 'I hate single life, I want a man, it sucks being single' vibe but I was just thinking while I was heating up my lunch one reason why I miss being in a relationship, I truely miss feeling needed. It's not so much that I want someone there for me or someone doing things for me, but that I really do love being there for someone else, being someone's support and confidante. I really like feeling that someone needs me, misses me, can't wait to see me again, has my open arms to come to if they need help and that I have a place in someone's life. This actually extends to a friendhip level also. I just like feeling needed. I extend myself out to people all the time but few people accept it. Everyone is now in their "I can do for myself, I don't need anyone else' mode.

I guess I'm just a nurturer by heart, I want to be able to take care of someone, fix them a good meal, rub their shoulders after a hard day, listen to their inner thoughts and comfort them when they are down. I want to be that person for them. So being single isn't always about what a person can do for me but what I can do for someone else. And I really miss that aspect.

Can anyone relate to that?

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cl214
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 2:01pm

Yep. I am the same way. Have you thought about adopting a "little sister" or maybe an elderly shut-in? I know the elderly get really lonely this time of year. Especially if they have no family or, are not in the best of health.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: cl214
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 2:35pm
Although I am hardly a nurturer, I can relate to how you feel. I am beginning to realize that being in a relationship is not so much about the other person, however wonderful he or she is; rather, it is about yourself. I am still having a hard time articulating how that is the case, but I guess that is what people mean by the "right person". Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: cl214
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 2:36pm
You know what? Years ago before I started grad school, I considered being apart of the Big Sisters program but forgot all about it. Perhaps, it may be worth looking into. That is if my lifestyle is suitable enough.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cl214
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 2:41pm
Just think, you could change some little girls life : ) So many kids out there need positive influences . . .
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
In reply to: cl214
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 3:22pm

I am very much a nurterer myself. I tend to give a lot to charities throughout the year because of it, because I know there are plenty of people who need and although I don't have a lot, I know that I have more than they so that's how I give back to my community and nurture.

I think the big sister thing is a great idea.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
In reply to: cl214
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 3:53pm
I am very much a nurturer by nature too. I've looked into the big sister thing but there was a long waiting list so I never got contacted and never tried to see myself if there was any openings after waiting a bit. I've also thought about volunteering at children's hospitals and just any event involving children. Never really followed through but it's an excellent idea to get involved with children when you are trying to fulfill your nurturing side as a single woman. My friend always tried to encourage me to do that.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cl214
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 8:39pm

If you want, I know a few really, really needy kids I could send ya.