Finding new friends....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Finding new friends....
8
Sun, 04-13-2003 - 8:30pm
This is probably going to sound silly. But I'm in my 30s (single - happily) and work at home. My problem is that my circle of friends is nearly nil. Either my friends have moved away, or we've grown apart (from college) or (the majority) are married (ie., no partying). I can't figure out how to find people (without a women thinking I'm looking to pick her up ). Anyone on here in their late 20s or 30s (I'm 36) and live in NJ?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 04-13-2003 - 10:09pm
It doesn't sound silly at all! We get that same question here a lot, so you know there are a lot of women out there in the same situation. I can honestly say I've met, MAYBE three single women since I've gotten out of college. Of those, none have turned into friends. I have some married friends who will go out, but it's always on their terms- ie planned months in advance and only if hubby says okay. How boring!

As for how to meet them, I'm not going to be any good at advice on that one, obviously. The standard answer is volunteering, getting involved in clubs, take a class, etc. I've volunteered and it was all old people. I'm taking graduate classes this summer, so maybe that'll help out a little. However, I'm not expecting many single people my age to be there. It is so frustrating!



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-13-2003 - 11:46pm
not silly at all. a lot of us are going through the same thing...

my solution was to start hanging out with younger and younger people 'til i looked around and suddenly i felt like a friggin' babysitter. hehe


i wish i had an easy answer, but i don't 'cause i'm struggling, too...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 10:30am
Welcome!

I have many online friends - we chat about everything and anything. That was great - but I missed doing things with ppl. I was already in a speech club, theatre group, and with a second job so I couldn't take up new hobbies/interests with the hope of meeting ppl. So I started my own online community for singles (there are some couples) who want to go for coffee, bowling, etc. I have met a couple of women so far. One online woman turned out to take the same bus from downtown I do! Thats gives us 45 min to talk and get to know each other. I met another two women who were only interested in going to bars - which I was fine with at first (I like to dance and drink beer). Then I realized that they had no interest in other things - like hiking or cycling. So I'll call them if I want to go out to a pub only.

Anyway, you can start by making friends here if you stick around!

Go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 7:50pm
I'm originally from NJ. Where do you live? I'm over 40 and am having the same problem. However, at your age, it's a lot easier to meet folks. I'll pass along the advice I got and loved>>>

Take a class - join a club - get involved in civic activities - try your church.

Not everything works. Keep at it - something will click.

Keep in touch!

Maria

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 3:03pm
I am 36 and live in NYC (my email address is deenahesq@aol.com). I have found new friends, in the last 3-4 years in the following ways: work (this job and former jobs), volunteer work, club med, ivillage (have met about 6 women in person and continue to see 2-3 socially), classmates.com, through my new friends, through Jewish organizations/activities - more and more of my friends are married but I still have a core group of single female friends most of whom don't know each other so it is not a "group" - also I typically spend my free evenings dating different people at the moment so I do not depend on my girlfriends for too much of my social life - just love talking to them on the phone, meeting for lunch, an occasional movie, etc. I have always been good at keeping in touch with lots of people as in over the last 20 plus years - not just because of the internet - so I have kept quite a few of my friends who are married and weathered the transitions in the relationships. Good luck to you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 9:56pm
welcome!. I thought it was just me. Now that the weather is warmer..i wish i had some friends to do things with. I too have online friends that i chat with after work, however all of them are guys~and we never go out in real life and do anything. I miss that. In the past few months ive met some new people, but they tend to wander out of my life for one reason or another. I have a few work friends, and sometimes go to a happy hour now and then. Im 27 and live in PA.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Wed, 04-16-2003 - 11:56pm
You live in New Jersey??? Take my advice, hang out at the Mohican Outdoor Center. I have had some of the best times in my life there. Lots of great folks - especially on trail maintenance weekends. They do have singles events, but, take my advice, you'll have more fun on your own. It's owned by the Appalachian Mountain Club and they do really cool workshops (yoga (if you like that stuff), painting, music, etc.) Call and ask for a schedule. (If you do a trail maintenance weekend - tell Walt & Margo I said "Hi".)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2002
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 11:57pm
How about....church.....join a gym....look into your neighborhood "rec center" and see if they have yoga classes or something. I must admit, many of my friends are co-workers from previous jobs. One friend used to be my next-door neighbor. Your Question isn't silly. About once per week I think "I wish I had a single-mom friend" good luck!!