A fine line

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
A fine line
9
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 10:30pm

I've always thought of myself as a very accepting person.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: shywon
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 10:58pm

I think I might say something when she says "I'm married so they know I"m not flirting."

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 11:15pm
I do worry that one of these guys will take her too seriously and not back off when asked. She's not that attractive, so it's not like men fall all over her anyway. But some guys don't care. A month or so ago we were out and I wasn't paying attention, but she must have been rubbing on a woman on the dance floor. A mutual friend said to me, "She knows *that woman* is a lesbian, right?" I knew, but I don't think my friend cared. Any attention was good attention. I do feel like I have to keep my eye on her, which is no fun for me! I probably could go the safely route with her, but I honestly think something is going to have to happen for her to get it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
In reply to: shywon
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 11:45pm

Shy, this woman is what, 14?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 7:43am

It's obvious she is starving for attention and thinks this is the way to get it.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 10:03am

She does sound like she's starving for attention, but the truth is she's just an attention hog.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 11:04am

Shy, I reconnected with a married GF of mine, in my late 20's,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 11:50am

I don't think you're dumping her cause she's going through a difficult time--after all, she hasn't confided in you that she's having trouble in her marriage or anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2009
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 4:02pm
Ok sounds like you want to keep her as a friend but her behavior is bothering you enough that you are posting it. Something has to give here. You can spend less time with her and more wih people who don't embarass you or you could have a heart to heart where you get to the bottom of it and tell her that her behavior is embarassing to you. Obviously something has to happen, its up to you. Evaluate how important her friendship is to you vs your sanity and happinness.
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 5:06pm
I do try to limit my time with her. That's why I don't expand our activities. The only thing we really have in common is that we both enjoy going out. The difference is that I like going out to sing and dance, and her goal lately seems to be to get drunk and flirt.

Thank you for recognizing that dumping her is not an option. To be honest, right now she's the only friend I have who seems to have any time for me at all. Everyone else is too busy with their kids and/or husbands even to get together for dinner. One of them doesn't even respond to texts/phone calls/emails anymore and blames it on her phone. She's gone through four phones and always blames it on her phone. I've given up on her. When she feels like she has time for me, she'll call.

I think I might just have to just mention how embarrassed I would be if I did what she's done. I know the direct route does not work with her. It really only hit me last week how out of control she's gotten. And then last Thursday when she butted in on a complete stranger's conversation about boobs (the guy was hitting in the woman by commenting in them, and it was obvious they knew each other well) I knew I should say something. I just hate butting in on people's lives when they haven't asked for it. Maybe she'll realize it herself soon, but I doubt it.