First time here

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
First time here
3
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 1:18am
Hi Everyone,

I am 37 & never been married. (SIGH) I know marraige isn't everything, but I would like to share my life w/ someone someday. It doesn't have to be marriage.

I fear being alone & cry a lot about it. Yeh, I have friends, but ya know sometimes it's not the smae. I try & stay busy, have joined clubs (athletic), and yet here I am.

I have a good job & am proud that I own my own home. I just wish I had someone to share it with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: funbiz
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 7:34am
Hi there - have seen you on the other board - I turn 37 in a little less than 2 months. I recently started dating someone pretty fabulous (fabulous, that is, to me and in my opinion - not commenting on how he is on "paper" or anything silly/irrelevant like that) who I was friends with for over a year before we started dating - and friends with his brother since about 1996 - no one is more surprised than me that we are now dating and happy. The other point is that one of the reasons he and I got to know each other better was because when his father was dying of cancer, and when he died I was "there" and as supportive as his brother wanted me to be, and a few months later when my (now bf) was looking for a temple to attend for Yom Kippur I invited him to mine - I think he was looking to get more involved given his father's death. So it was through being a good friend and being there that we got to know each other - and that to me made a difference - made a certain kind of impression and also meant I was totally being "me". Also, I set him up with several of my friends (I had a boyfriend at the time - but it is ironic) and when his brother got married and embarked on a round the world trip with his new wife, I stayed in touch and started emailing with my bf, mostly about his brother's whereabouts and travels - but at some point things got more personal.

Keep your eyes open to get to know people in this kind of way - where you get to be a good friend to someone - and make sure you are good at staying in touch with the people you click with - you never know who they know and who they are related to ;-)

Big caveat - it has only been three months - I am not saying at all that this is serious or that he is the one or anything like "when you least expect it" - just saying that there are good men out there to date and have a fun time with who are available and where there is actual potential.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: funbiz
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 9:37am
Great post Deena.

And aside from being a good friend, you don't have to be afraid to lean on others. When I feel a wee bit lonely - I just go over to my brothers house for dinner. Hanging out with his wife, him and their new baby makes me feel like part of the family (heck, I am!!! LOL). I know that even tho ppl are not here physically in my house - they will always be there if/when I need them. Then I am not alone.

What more am I missing? My family gives me love. I can go get a massage if I need to feel "human touch/contact." Tho, my coworkers are a huggy bunch. I need only say "group hug" and when they get over the SHOCK of ME initiating one...I'll be satisfied...LOL. My best friend is the one I tell EVERYTHING to...even when I've had serious r/ships most men don't really care what your dream colour curtains are, LOL. Thats ok, thats what GFs are for! What else is there? Approval? No, I don't need approval. I have never had it and I'm fine. I just am who I am. Take or leave that.

Don't get me wrong here...I am not saying I want to be single for the rest of my life. But I am saying that its not that big a deal if I was. (I'd be sad I didn't get a chance to have kids yet I would accept thats the way it is)

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
In reply to: funbiz
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 8:11pm
i know how the loneliness feels i've been single for about six months now i know this may be preachy sounding my faith has kept me strong and positive most of the time lol, and my pets keep me comfy i tend to hang out with my family and finding new hobbies and goin back to school next month it seems dreary now but things will get better