Flaky Friends

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Flaky Friends
12
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 12:54pm

I don't understand people who make plans with you and then flake.

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Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cfk_3
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 1:18pm

Is this a pattern with this friend? If not, I'd be more worried than irked by the situation, especially if she doesn't answer the phone.


If this isn't a one-time thing, is it possible that she didn't think that you had plans and perhaps thought you were just discussing the possibility of doing something?


I do agree that I'd be annoyed by the situation, but do you know your friend's side of the story too? I'd reserve judgment until you do know what happened.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cfk_3
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 1:24pm

I get annoyed with flaky friends as well.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 1:42pm
Yes, there's
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 1:52pm

Oh, she has guys do this kind of thing to her all the time and yes, she gets pissed!

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cfk_3
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 1:53pm

To me that's a definite plan!

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 2:02pm

Well, I don't know how you approached her, but she needn't make you feel guilty about a legitimate injury.

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cfk_3
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 2:16pm
let us know when you get the book....then we can have you look things up for us before we react (or overreact) to certain situations.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cfk_3
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 2:44pm

I'm pretty direct, so I would have left a message yesterday saying, hey, what's going on?

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
In reply to: cfk_3
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 2:48pm

Unless there really has been an emergency, it's just rude.

Yes, if you say x day x restaurant and the approximate time, I'd say that you've made definite plans.

Quite a few years ago I had a friend who agreed to come over one Sunday morning to help me bathe my cats (I know, this sounds weird, but they had fleas). We agreed on everything but the time. Sunday morning comes and I don't hear from her so I call. No answer. I wait an hour and call again. No answer. So I got my mother to come over instead. I didn't hear from the friend Sunday night, all day Monday nor Monday night. I finally reached her Tuesday (I really had begun to worry) and she said she just spontaneously decided to drive with her then boyfriend to his place 2 hours away and decided to spend the night there (isn't that just so madcap??). I wanted to say, "Don't they have phones there?" but didn't. At the time I didn't confront her. I stopped calling her after that. Several months later she stopped by. (When she would come over she would always say, "I can't stay." Fine. Don't.) I had pretty much just written the friendship off at this point, but I decided to be a big girl and let her know how I felt. I told her that it wasn't OK to make plans with me and then not show up and not call. And you know what? She acted like she didn't even remember the incident. So lame. I didn't see her much after that.

I just don't get this "I'll say 'yes' now, but 'no' later" thing. I think it's terribly self-centered and self-indulgent.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 3:03pm

I'm glad to know that I am not overreacting.

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