flings or one night stands

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
flings or one night stands
13
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 4:00am

I was just wondering everyone's opinions on flings(short term relationships that you know won't last) or one night stands.

I've never had one but want to. However, when the opportunity came up, i backed off, but later regretted it.

I just wonder how you feel about it after? good ? bad?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 8:57pm
I believe a lot of the women that say that they can handle it are in serious denial because they shut their emotions off but then later on they feel the effects of it and realize that they can't handle it. I've seen this with my friends. They talk a good game like they are ok with it, but they really aren't being true to themselves and later on I hear comments of anger or hostility towards the men they slept with, but who they agreed to just have something casual with. When we women have sex we release that oxytocin hormone which makes us attached to men so it's biologically in our nature to get emotionally attached, unfortunately. Heck, if I knew for sure that I didn't get attached with sex I would have an FWB but I would be lying to myself if I said I could handle it.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 9:29pm

Oh, I'm all too familiar with the effects of oxytocin ;-)!

But there are *some* women who really can handle it. I don't know how they do it (perhaps they only produce low levels of that hormone?) but I sometimes wish I had that capability--it would sure make things a lot easier sometimes!

Sheri

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 11:33pm
Oxytocin--I once used that word a lot. I can't relate with you, though. I have an oxytocin deficiency (meaning not that I don't have any--duh! I just produce VERY low levels of the stuff). After sex, I want a little DISTANCE from the guy (and maybe a shower). Of course this deficiency makes my distrust of men even stronger (btw I don't just distrust men; I distrust people in general).

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