Is This Flirting? Please advise me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Is This Flirting? Please advise me.
9
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 12:19pm
Hi everyone, please give me some advice.
I have a friend in the hospital(he is okay)and there is
a male nurse there who is very cute and seems so nice.
You know when you have the feeling someone is watching you?-
well I have caught him a few times looking at me as I am sitting there,
but when I look up he glances the other way.
I catch him looking at me up and down when I first arrive there to visit.
I was watching him do his job and maybe once or twice he explained to me a bit of what he was doing and smiled. Sometimes he will make a joke with the other nurses and glance at me. I also caught him glance at me through the mirror.
I was also sitting in the chair and he told me i didn't have to move but he had very little space and his back was right in front of me.
Are these signs? should i respond to any? I don't have much time-sometimes he is not there when I am there-How can I?
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 1:06pm
You posted about this elsewhere a few days ago? Is he continuing to do this or have you been back to the hospital since your last post?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 1:45pm
Yeah, I have seen him just once again when I went to the hospital.
He is basically doing the same thing. But I am always there with some other people because I am the driver, so only sometimes I am alone there, and this is only the second time I have noticed him doing this. When other people are there he may pass by, smile and say hi, and at other times when he has my friend as his patient he will talk to 2 other family members telling them of the condition while looking at them and not look at me once (and i standing right next to them). But when noone is around he glances more. What can I do i am confused if i should do something.Should I wait for him to make a bolder move? I feel uneasy doing this in a hospital setting, but I cannot see him anywhere else. Anymore advice??
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 2:02pm
I think I said this in another post, but just start a conversation with him. When he walks out of the room, walk behind him and talk about the weather or whatever as you walk down the hallway. Just a little initiation can go a long way. I'd say if he doesn't bite by then (like ask you something about yourself or compliment you in some way, "It's nice you're taking care of your friend" or something) then he's not going to. Don't put so much pressure on what you say or how you say it, he's just a guy you don't even know yet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 2:31pm

Hi lesleylou, Thank you so much for your replies.

To tell you the truth, I am getting more nervous around him.
I want to start a conversation with him but i also want to find out if he is involved with anyone already. I don't know how to approach him about this. i would like to give him my number but I don't know if he has a girlfriend, and I would feel so embarrassed if that was the case.
I am mostly a shy person, more passive than outgoing.
Any advice how to proceed? I'm sorry if I'm being a bug.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 2:46pm
I'm the same kind of person- a bit shy and nervous around guys when i'm starting to think of them in that kind of way.
I would just start any kind of conversation- weather, how long he's been working there, if he likes his job- something like that. Maybe ask him about work and then after awhile ask him if he works shift work- if he does you can slip in "so does your wife or girlfiend find shiftwork hard to handle?"
That could be a way to find out about his home life a bit and to see if he's single or not, without sounding too obvious. And who knows, if he is single maybe you can ask for his number or offer yours..?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 2:50pm

No worries. If I didn't have time I wouldn't respond.

Anyway, I wouldn't give him your number unless he asks for it. And if he asks you to call him, I'd say "how about you call me, here's my number". This is just my preference in dating. It's much easier on you and that way, you really know his level of interest. But that's putting the cart before the horse.

You should talk to him first. Who knows, he could be married, in a serious relationship, or gay. Don't think of it as a potential date, just think of it as a conversation. If you're nervous or shy, just think of it as good practice with approaching people. You don't have to sound like a genious or flirt your socks off to get his attention, just the fact that you're talking to him generally opens the door. Don't put so much pressure on yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 3:11pm
Thank you so much everyone for your kind and helpful replies!
wish me luck, and thanks again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 4:03pm
If I remember correctly, you have not yet spoken with this guy for more than a couple of seconds. Why worry about giving him your phone number? Why not strike up a conversation with him and see how that goes before even thinking about dating him. One foot in front of the other and all that...
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 8:34am

No, that's not flirting.