Friend or boyfriend? What´s going to be?

Avatar for rainita2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Friend or boyfriend? What´s going to be?
4
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 11:20am
Yesterday I went to a party, so this female coworker came and introduce me to her company, it was a guy so he introduced me as her friend, not as her boyfriend. I mean is ok. Later I saw this coworker, kissing, making up, hugging, fondling with the guy. Then I asked myself why people don’t call things as it is. I mean why she introduced me and other coworkers the guy as her friend, if she was later making up, hugging, fondling with the guy, I mean if she was her boyfriend, she could have said it so. Are some women afraid to say that some guy is a boyfriend but they introduced it as a friend only? Why they do that, why they don’t call things as they are, there is nothing wrong about it. Why some women do that? Any particular reason?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 12:29pm

Just because they're physical, that doesn't mean he's her boyfriend.

Avatar for rainita2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 2:54pm

Or he could have been his one-night stand date only? Perhaps Im old fashioned but for me if I have a close friend, friend I lean on and who is a very nice friend etc I dont make up with him mouth to mouth, or hugging like If I be hugging in the case I have a boyfriend. For me friends and boyfriends are different. Friend is a friend and boyfriend is a boyfriend, it is similar but the way I treat them for me it is diffrent. I dont mix the two of them.

If I had a boyfriend of course we kiss, fond, hug each other because we are dating and we are boyfriend and gf, but If I have a friend, I respect my friend, because he is only my friend, he is not seeing me as another thing other than a friend, so why I have to fond, make up with him if we are not a couple. Im old fashioned perhaps but that is the way I see it.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 3:14pm

That's fine if that's what you're comfortable with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 6:09pm

I understand what you're saying and all but things have really changed these days and people don't see it this way anymore.

Case in point, last year I dated a lot of guys. Some yiu'd catchme holding hands with, making out with, some on intimate dates and others where I hung out and stayed over their place and vice versa. But not in one situation would I call any of these guys my boyfriend. Why? Because that would imply that we were in an exclusive relationship and we were not. Where there used to be these concrete terms before, it's now not so easy to lable someone you're seeing.

So I would consider these guys as guys I was dating and to people, friends. Until he is exclusive with me, he is NOT a boyfriend.