Friends and/or HJNTIY?
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|Fri, 11-18-2011 - 10:17am|
I'm over-thinking a situation and wondered what other people thought. Of course, without all the nitty-gritty details, it's hard to really assess I suppose.
About a month ago, a man I had met via OLD three years ago called and asked me out. I have run into him fairly often over the years at different events we attend and we have talked, we even have friends in common as it turns out. We're even FB friends. I was not able to go that night, but made it clear that I would have gone and would like to do something in the future. Two weeks later, he asked me out again on a Sunday. I accepted and we spent most of the day together. I had a good time--but he is rather reserved and not easy to get to know. I again made it clear that I would like to get together again (but didn't overdo it). At this point, I don't really know him well enough to know if we would even be a good match--but I'm very willing to find out.
A few days later, we both attended the same event (separately, we hadn't planned it although I told him I was going and he said he was probably going). We talked a couple of different times at the event, and then he wandered off---and I didn't see him again.
Two weeks went by, and I heard nothing. At this point, I am wondering: does he see me as "just a friend"? He hasn't been flirtatious, but I don't think that's his nature (really, not making an excuse). In talking about it with some of my friends (none of whom know him, and no, I can't ask our mutual friends), most of them said, "He's waiting for you to ask him to do something."
Well, is he? Yeah, I know, no one knows what he's thinking.
In the past, I would have invited him to do something. But the new and improved FloridaGirl wants the man to take the initiative in the beginning. But--if he's looking at this as friends, then of course it wouldn't matter who invited whom.
Even though I don't know him well enough to know if this could be more, I don't want to treat this as a friendship at this point, so I have stood by my "rule" of letting the man take the lead. I did send him an email about an interest we both have, something we talked about. We had a little email exchange and that was it.
I know I have to do what I feel is right in this situation, and at the moment, I feel l should wait for him to do the asking. This is what I would advise someone who asked my advice. But then I start to wonder…
As Greg Berhrendt says, if he's not calling you up and asking you out, he's just not that into you.