FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX!?!?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX!?!?!?
16
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 6:17pm
I was with my ex, for 2.5 years. We were eachother's first love and we broke up and haven't spoken since March. Our last communication with eachother (in March) was through texting and since I was in a very sour mood about the break-up, our short text conversation wasn't so nice. I have been working to put my life back together, get back up on my feet and live my life happily. The last time we spoke in person, he said though we were breaking up he did not want me out of his life, he still loved me, and I could call him anytime. Well, I didn't call him or contact him....not until almost 3 months later in early June, which was an email that ONLY said "hey, how are you?" and he did not respond. Him and I shared a lot together, we were very deeply connected, and I don't want to burn any bridges. I know he probably thinks I hate him (which I don't)...I just want to be friendly with him, and not have any bad blood between us. We have many mutual friends, and his parents and I have kept in slight contact. He does have a new girlfriend, so that may be keeping him from talking to me, but I'm not sure. I've never been in this siutation before so I am pretty confused. Should I not even try being friends? Should I not contact him again, at all? It's been 4 months since we've spoken...is that too late? too soon? I guess just in the long run, if we were to run into one another, I'd really want it to be a nice encounter, not awkward....and have good memories and things to say about my first love.

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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 12:05am

You should know that you don't have to have sex to pass HPV.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 6:49pm
I was just at the OB a month ago and I am fine. Him and I never had sexual contact with anyone else....we were the first to do anything with one another. The new girlfriend on the other hand has had sex with other guys, including one guy who is fairly older and probably has had multiple sexual partners too. Anyway, I want to keep contact with him but NOT frequentley. Just maybe an email every month, at the least. I don't think that is too much at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 6:50pm
oops...I meant to say "an email once a month as the MOST"
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 2:37am
I believe that it was rude of your ex to not respond to your email to him. Even if he is dating someone new, he does have the ability to be courteous and respond to you in a short and sweet manner. I have experienced this as well. I emailed one of my ex bfs on his birthday (I knew he was already dating someone new). I kept my email short like you did too...I only said "Happy Birthday." I never got a response. I realized that this was totally rude, especially since he had also given me the same phony speech of, "but I wanna still stay friends blah blah..." Keep on living your life and focus on finding soemthing or someone new :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 7:11am

When a couple breaks it off; there is no reason for further contact with each other. I disagree with your opinion that he was rude not to reply to her e-mail. When it's time to move on, it's time to move on.

If you were dating a man and he continued to have contact with a former g/f; would you like it? I would wonder why he feels the need to not break it off completely; unless he were not over her; and in that case, I would not want to be dating him at all until he put the past behind him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 9:18am

After reading my way through this thread, and considering personal experience, I've come to the following conclusions:

1. They are EX-es for a REASON. Unless you have children together, there is no reason to keep in contact...and sometimes, not even then.

2. Treat them like gangrenous limbs - amputate them from your life.


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