Frustrated w/the Ex!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Frustrated w/the Ex!
3
Sat, 07-12-2003 - 4:40pm
My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. I left 2 rings there that have a significant symbolism for us - they were the birthstones of the babies we lost to miscarriage. I left them at his place because I was so upset and felt that it would help in me getting over him. Well now I want them back - I have come to accept the breakup and can deal w/the memories, etc. I have called him and left a couple of messages. Does he call me back? No! He's upset b/c he had heard that I said that I hate him and thought he had cheated on me the entire time (which I never said but that is a whole different issue!). I didn't think I was asking for alot - even if he brings them to his job I will be more than willing to just come and get them. But w/him not calling me back I sort of feel like I have lost all right to be asking for what's mine back and it is so frustrating!

But on a lighter note - I called the guy I slept w/a couple of weeks ago. Basically just to say - nothing more. He all apologized for not calling since he has been so busy. I told him not to worry about it - it isn't a big deal. He told me to call him later. Do I?? Hmmm . . . I haven't decided yet. I don't think so though - if he wanted to talk to me he would call me. I was just appreciative that he had at least acknowledge the lack of communication and said I'm sorry for whatever that may be worth.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 8:52pm
This is what I'd do. Show up at his house when you know he's home, knock on the door, and tell him you want the rings. When he gives them to you, say thank you, and turn around and leave. If he doesn't give them to you, ask to come in and somehow get them yourself.

As for the other guy, don't call. He'll call if he's interested, but the bottom line is that if you are still dealing with this ex and he's still able to make you angry, you're not ready to be with anyone else anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-14-2003 - 8:06am
Watch this weeks sex and the city - I don't think guy number 2 is that into you and of course he apologized - he's not a complete jerk - I don't know any man who is too busy to make a 2 minute call but you made the decision that you could deal with having sex outside a relationship so you knew the risks.

As far as the rings - send him a letter and explain that you would like to resolve this amicably and that you hope you don't have to take other steps. I am curious as to why you would have become pregnant twice with someone you weren't married to - not a judgment - just curiosity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-14-2003 - 5:30pm
Thanks girls! I left the ex a message yesterday short of cursing him out just stating I deserve the respect to at least get a phone call back letting me know I cna have them back. For obvious reasons I also threw in the whole "it hurt you just as much to go through the m/c as me" so he should understand why I would want them. He leaves me a message stating he loves me and I'm still his best friend. He is sorry for the way he has been acting and he was just hurt by hearing that I "could of" said I hated him and thought he had cheated on me the whole time! Of course I can have them back. Not the response I was looking for - a simple yes you can have them would have sufficed! Needless to say - I haven't called him back yet but plan to soon.

Deena - to answer your question - the first time we got pregnant - totally our fault - not birth control - no nothing. The 2nd time I was on birth control. Planned absolutely not but regardless - it definately made a huge impact on the both of us.