Furious

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Furious
12
Sat, 10-20-2012 - 7:03pm

You might remember that about a month ago, my sister's ex had her arrested for kicking him while he was forcing her out of the house and leaving bruises on her arms.  This is his second accusation of domestic abuse, and both times she was defending herself against his attacks.  This time, he kept their baby and has had her ever since, refusing to let my sister see her.  My sister has since gotten a lawyer and filed for custody.  On Thursday, he called mad because she got a lawyer.  Stupid jerk.  Did he think she wasn't going to fight for her daughter or defend herself against his accusations? 

So her first birthday is next Saturday.  My sister just texted me, saying that they talked and came up with a plan to share custody 50/50- he gets a week, then she gets a week.  I am NOT happy that she's agreeing to let this psychopath have my niece half the time.  He can't afford diapers, daycare, or even food for the baby.  I asked her if they were making it legal, and she said "lol yeah we're making it legal".  Which makes me think she caved and isn't going to.  On top of that, they're having her birthday party at a park in the town where he lives.  I get that they need to get along for my niece's sake, but I am furious at this boy and I do NOT want to see him next Saturday.  I told my sister that I don't like him (I've never expressed an opinion about him before), never have, and I refuse to be nice to him.  I told her I don't want to talk to him at all.  If he tries to talk to me, I cannot guarantee that I will be able to control what I say to him.  It takes a lot- and I mean A LOT- to get me mad.  I'm beyond mad. 

Oh...and get this- she said they are meeting at the park on Monday and then "hopefully" he'll let my sister have the baby.  Hopefully???  He's messing with her mind.  We don't even know for sure that she's still in his care, healthy, or that he hasn't sent her out of state with a family member.  If she gets her back Monday, then she'll have her until Saturday and then they'll trade off again.  So he gets her for a month, while living in chaos with his drunk buddies, and she gets her for six days.  Grrr...

I'm gonna go try to run off some of this frustration, but it never really works!!!

 

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 10-20-2012 - 8:59pm

Hopefully I'm wrong and she really is going to get a legally binding agreement.  She does have a lawyer, and paternity action has been filed (from what my mom told me), but that doesn't mean she'll follow through.  If she doesn't get it in writing, it'll take him pulling his crap again and again for her to realize his words mean nothing. She's young, and he's her first real boyfriend, though, so she doesn't know how manipulative men can be.  She truly wants to believe he's got some good in him, even though she knows he's a liar.  I truly know he has no good in him.  I guess it's the 14 year age difference. 

Running did not get rid of all the frustration, so I'm going out for a drink later.  For some reason, when I'm angry I always want a drink or two, and sometimes I even end up having more fun.  I guess pissed-off me is fun to hang around. 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 10-20-2012 - 8:50pm

Yes what your sister is doing is really dumb.  She needs something in writing or he could do anything he wants & she'll have no leg to stand on.  Unfortunately I guess she needs to learn things the hard way. :(  I hope he does give her the baby--maybe while she has the baby, then you could convince her to go to court.

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