fwb...what am i thinking (long)
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fwb...what am i thinking (long)
| Mon, 04-23-2007 - 10:34am |
I didn't think I wanted a relationship I didnt think i wanted all the ties that come along w/ it. Im enjoying being an independent, single mother, with the freedom to do what I want at any given moment.
For the last year there has been this guy, strictly FWB! Nothing more. Sometimes we'd meet up at the bar & he'd buy me a few drinks but it was never like we were dating, there were a few instance where the thought crossed my mind but I never really put much thought into it! Well it had been like 2 or 3 mo since we had seen each other & I he called me 2 weekends ago to go out to dinner & for drinks w/ him & his cousin & my friend (who is dating his cousin) I agreed to drinks but not dinner (no one ever knew about him & I except that friend & my ex roommate I was taken by supprise by his invite for that sat night. So we went out for drinks and the 4 of us ended up going back to his house for a while, At the end of the night he was almost begging me to stay & I told him I couldn't due to work in the morning & I had to get my friend home.
Throughout the week he called me last week asking to take me to lunce or dinner, I had to decline due to deadlines at work or my children or for whatever reason. He invited me to a rather social gathering where a lot of people we knwe were going to be Friday night, Why whould he invite me to this knowing all of these people are going to be there?!??! I ended up making an appearence and he was all over me like we were more than we really are.
Sat. I ended up at his house & he told me how he like waking up next to me in the morining & he missed how my hair smells & how he thought about me all the time & he like cuddeling w/ me & all theat kinda garbage most girls like to hear. He knows im not into all that cuddley mushy crap, but for some reason he make me want to be. I woke up early Sunday morning I layed ther for about 30 min & realized that I felt too comfortable I had to get out of there!! What was he trying to do....make me fall for him...that what it felt like & it felt like it was working!!! This cannot be!! when I was leaving he walked me out to my car & gave me a kiss, (that by the way was something we dont do b/c we are strictly fwb)he called me about 4 hours after I had left to see how my day was going, sent me a msg this morning telling me to have a great day & that he thought about me while he was in bed alone last night & how he sleeps so much better when im there. I dont normally fall for this crap but after over a year of us us being were we are & knowing how he is I know this isn't like him& he kind of makes me want a relationship but Im so happy w/ my life where it is right now. Im so confused!!! He is all i keep thinking about!! This is crazy Im not this kind of girl who falls for the guy she cant have but he is doing it to me on purpose or so it feels.
Sorry im driving my self crazy over this & I know I shouldn't be. But now he has me thinking of him & I think I just needed to get all of this out!!! I do feel a little better now that its now weighing down on me!!
For the last year there has been this guy, strictly FWB! Nothing more. Sometimes we'd meet up at the bar & he'd buy me a few drinks but it was never like we were dating, there were a few instance where the thought crossed my mind but I never really put much thought into it! Well it had been like 2 or 3 mo since we had seen each other & I he called me 2 weekends ago to go out to dinner & for drinks w/ him & his cousin & my friend (who is dating his cousin) I agreed to drinks but not dinner (no one ever knew about him & I except that friend & my ex roommate I was taken by supprise by his invite for that sat night. So we went out for drinks and the 4 of us ended up going back to his house for a while, At the end of the night he was almost begging me to stay & I told him I couldn't due to work in the morning & I had to get my friend home.
Throughout the week he called me last week asking to take me to lunce or dinner, I had to decline due to deadlines at work or my children or for whatever reason. He invited me to a rather social gathering where a lot of people we knwe were going to be Friday night, Why whould he invite me to this knowing all of these people are going to be there?!??! I ended up making an appearence and he was all over me like we were more than we really are.
Sat. I ended up at his house & he told me how he like waking up next to me in the morining & he missed how my hair smells & how he thought about me all the time & he like cuddeling w/ me & all theat kinda garbage most girls like to hear. He knows im not into all that cuddley mushy crap, but for some reason he make me want to be. I woke up early Sunday morning I layed ther for about 30 min & realized that I felt too comfortable I had to get out of there!! What was he trying to do....make me fall for him...that what it felt like & it felt like it was working!!! This cannot be!! when I was leaving he walked me out to my car & gave me a kiss, (that by the way was something we dont do b/c we are strictly fwb)he called me about 4 hours after I had left to see how my day was going, sent me a msg this morning telling me to have a great day & that he thought about me while he was in bed alone last night & how he sleeps so much better when im there. I dont normally fall for this crap but after over a year of us us being were we are & knowing how he is I know this isn't like him& he kind of makes me want a relationship but Im so happy w/ my life where it is right now. Im so confused!!! He is all i keep thinking about!! This is crazy Im not this kind of girl who falls for the guy she cant have but he is doing it to me on purpose or so it feels.
Sorry im driving my self crazy over this & I know I shouldn't be. But now he has me thinking of him & I think I just needed to get all of this out!!! I do feel a little better now that its now weighing down on me!!

"This is crazy Im not this kind of girl who falls for the guy she cant have but he is doing it to me on purpose or so it feels."
-- What makes you think you can't have him?