GAVE into the URGE

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
GAVE into the URGE
13
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 12:13am
Ok, so some of you may remember...last week I hate written a post asking for advice about writting an e-mail to an ex. Well I have done really good in not writting him..hmm....unfortunately until about 5 minutes ago! I just wrote to him! It was short and sweet...basically just said that i wished him a merry christmas and happy new year..and hoped he had a good holiday..that was it. nothing more...I know I shouldn't have done it...but I did! I don't expect anything in return from him....I'm sure I won't hear any type of response from him. Oh well it's done and over...part of me..feels good for doing it..the other part is kicking myself..oh well nothing I can do now!
just had to tell someone..thanks for listening!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
In reply to: crvgrl
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 10:02am
I know how you feel...I am tempted all the time to write e-mails..and most often I can't help it. I even call my best friend in order not to call him...
I think if you feel fine with it it is ok, but it is really painful if you have expectations,because everytime I say I just want to send a friendly e-mail without any hopes, but I always hope deeply in my heart he is going to call back and the agony goes on...but if you in your hear are over it,then there is nothing wrong sending a card. I think it is even nice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
In reply to: crvgrl
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 7:10pm
Just shrug it off and don't think about it too much. In the grand scheme of things, it won't matter.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: crvgrl
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 8:42pm

Think about this: What if an ex from your past emailed you out of the blue?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2006
In reply to: crvgrl
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 1:59am

Hey crvgrl,

You go girl! I say good for you! Do you feel better? I have just deleted the 24 year olds phone number so that during this festive season I don't drunk and dial. Ooops! Done that once too often.

I know how tempting it is, to just stick yourself out there, send an email or text message and see what happens. Hey, if nothing does, you have lost nothing... if something does, well... you never know.

I have a saying (which has gotten me into rather sticky situations - but fun ones nontheless) - Never regret the things you do do, just regret the things you never do.

I believe in taking chances and risking it all. In this case, you didn't really risk it all, you only sent out a message of happiness for the festive season. Where is the harm in that.

We make choices every day... some good, some not so good. Having the courage to follow them through, now that's something completely different.

I say well done. Now, if I could only remember the 24 year olds phone number... wonder what he's doing New Year's Eve?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
In reply to: crvgrl
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 8:42pm

Hey Tuttyfruity,
Just wondering how your holidays went? keep yourself busy?? Ever find the number to the 24 year old?? haha I actually heard from my ex..it was short and sweet but at least he took the time to write...

crvgrl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
In reply to: crvgrl
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 6:03am

Crvgrl,

It was nice of him to write back. I wrote a letter to my ex who lives in a different state. It was four years ago and I'm not attracted to him. I think I broke his heart so I wrote him a letter to say how great a person I thought he was even if I didn't show it at the time. I don't think he will write back but I am glad that I wrote the letter. Some things need to be said.

Feisty

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2006
In reply to: crvgrl
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 12:28am

Hey there!

Yeah, gave into the temptation and looked up his number and sent him a howdy last night, to which he replied... was quite surprised.

Anyway, I took a page out of my own book and asked if he would like to go out some time. No reply as yet. Hey, at least I tried. Now I know I made an effort and didn't just dismiss it as I do most men. A friend gave me great advice. She said "stop hinting that you want to see him and simply ask the boy out!". Apparently men are not too attuned to the hinting part of a women's vocab. Who knew? ;)

I am though a little apprehensive, after all that. I really want to give my career a serious injection this year and concentrate on getting physically stronger. I lost a lot of a weight after being sick for an extended period, now finally healthy I want to focus on getting stronger, fitter and even more healthy. Will be quite time consuming, yet... maybe I can make time for someone special.

Or perhaps this is all is a load of bull and some way of me protecting myself against the possibility of him not calling. When did I care so much?

Usually I meet men and after a few dates get bored, or realise that it's just not worth the effort. But, this guy... can't stop thinking about him which is rather good, but rather scary.

Jumping ahead... he will probably not even bother to reply.

How have you been? What did the ex say in his reply? I actually got in touch with an ex from 16 years ago, he was my first serious boyfriend and I broke his heart. We have been emailing for over 4 years now. Granted we live in two different countries, but it is still great to know that after 16 years and a lot of pain we are able to "talk" openly. It was a good thing reaching out. How do you feel about it? Any regrets?

Off to dinner with my folks.

Have an awesome weekend!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
In reply to: crvgrl
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 6:06am

Hey there -
If you have feelings for this guy..then by all means I say go for it. Now that you've done the contacting..the ball is in his court. I totally agree with you friend..although it took me a while to realize that most guys don't pick up on the hints we women give. At times I find this so mind boggling, because they are so obvious! So yup, gotta be blunt with them...tell them exactly what we want! Although it hasn't gotten me far yet..I'm sure one day it will! (I hope anyway! haha!)

As far as concentrating on your career and your health, isn't the key to happiness being able to balance all aspects of life..(meaning: career, health, relationships?) You say think you may be protecting yourself...but honestly what do you have to lose with trying? Absolutely nothing! If you did nothing, I know if it was me, I would always be asking the "what if..." question. If it doesn't work out just chalk it up to another experience and lesson learned and if it does..sit back and reap the benefits! I do believe it is possible to concentrate on all 3 things at once...just think there are at least 12 hours a day for you to concentrate on them. Focus all your attention during the day on your career..then go work out and you will still have some time left at the end of the day to do some dating...if not every day at least a couple times a week! Sounds good in theory I know...although I'm still trying to find that balance..I do think it is somehow possible...

On yeah, Congrats on losing weight..probably wasnt' done like you would have wanted it to be...(being sick) but now that you've lost the weight good luck at keeping it off! I too have been trying to shed a couple extra pounds..man takes so much effort doesn't it?? My New Years resolution ..umm like everyone else is to exercise more...hmm yeah still have yet for that to kick into effect...but I blame it on being sick..hmm maybe next week I will start??

I haven't been up to much. I have actually been fighting a nasty cold since last thursday! Thanks to my 3 year old niece..sneezing and coughing in my face (although she's still darn cute!) I caught her cold. Umm yeah gave her a BIG hug for that..haha! I'm just now starting to feel "normal" again!

I have actaully been in contact with a couple of my "OLD" buddies, might even meet one soon. We will see..I have so many reservations about meeting "OLD" ppl. I've meet some pretty scary ones out there...but I keep telling myself..they can't all be scary can they???

Also found out yesterday that I may have to have another scope done on my knee. FUN! FUN! I had one done last year in October, and was found to have a torn Meniscus. Well of course being the klutz that I am..fell on the same knee, after my surgery in Feb. and have been having issues with it ever since. So I'm trying to decide if I want to go through this a second time! Still not sure, but basically the doc told me it was either do the scope or nothing..and quite frankly, I'm tired of constantly being in pain and dealing with it. This week has been busy..haha can you telL!

As for my ex's response...he didn't really say much, just that he had a nice christmas and was spending New Years with his family. He did also ask how I have been though. Thought that was nice that he cared, but am beginning to wonder if it was just a formality for him to ask, as I haven't heard anything back. No, I have no regrets in contacting him. Worst case senerio I never hear from him and well it's not like I would be any worse off if I didn't. Oh well, life will continue if he doesn't respond!

I'm so glad it's Friday...even though it has been a 3 day week for me (Monday - holiday and Tuesday called into work sick) it has been a long one! At 4 I can relax for a couple days...hmm can't wait!

You also have a good weekend and keep me in touch about the 24 yr old! Any big plans for the weekend???

CRVGRL

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
In reply to: crvgrl
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 10:34am
My exhusband sent me a card after 8 years and I was pissed. I don't like the disruption in my life.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2006
In reply to: crvgrl
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 5:29pm

Heya!

Well, only two more days of holiday left. Argh! Wish I could just extend it till Wednesday... dreaming...

At least this year I have a dream job. Last year this time I had to work throughout my holiday and still got back to the office with paper piled high, sometimes used to wonder why I bothered at all.

I love my job. Yes, I can actually say that!

No news from the 24 year old. Well, I did try and he didn't reply. That says it all. Not the end of the world. Yes, even though I will be concentrating on my career and fitness, this girl will still be on the lookout for Mr Oh so right!

I tend to make time for the fun things, no matter what. I guess that's part of being a woman, we tend to know just how to prioritise our lives so that we can squeeze all the fun out of the day, while still getting all the crap done. I tend to be like the duracell bunny on acid when I get going.

Yes, it is crap having a constant pain. Knee trouble is just torture I'm sure. Best to get it sorted now, otherwise later down the track it could be even worse. But I totally understand the poking and proding, not so much fun, I know.

Well, we will have to see how the week pans out and what God has in store for the next 12 months. Never disappoints that's for sure!

Will keep in touch.

Have an awesome weekend.

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