GAVE into the URGE

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
GAVE into the URGE
13
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 12:13am
Ok, so some of you may remember...last week I hate written a post asking for advice about writting an e-mail to an ex. Well I have done really good in not writting him..hmm....unfortunately until about 5 minutes ago! I just wrote to him! It was short and sweet...basically just said that i wished him a merry christmas and happy new year..and hoped he had a good holiday..that was it. nothing more...I know I shouldn't have done it...but I did! I don't expect anything in return from him....I'm sure I won't hear any type of response from him. Oh well it's done and over...part of me..feels good for doing it..the other part is kicking myself..oh well nothing I can do now!
just had to tell someone..thanks for listening!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2007
In reply to: crvgrl
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 7:00pm

It is difficult to not give in to get the attention of your ex. I have and am still in the same position. I recently emailed him with something about one of the children (adult) and added a few other sentences that were not pertinent but trivial. This is part of the disconnect and I have to say it is real hard. For I know that I still love my exhusband. I love who he is and when we met....why he was so attractive to me. He is not a handsome man....but the conversation was great....and his ability to dive into subjects and look things up. He showed a bit of risk taking....and that was exciting to me....for my growing up years....I didn't experience much of that.

I have fallen into a depression now....for I want the attention of my ex....and I know that he is seeing someone else....for he now lives very far away. The one thing that I have been doing is praying. If the Lord can do miracles....this will be a miracle beyond belief. For my ex committed adultery....which at the time caused deep pain....and I was totally beside myself and didn't act properly. According to the Bible....in Matthew....when one commits adultery....they are not to marry, they are to stay single....or remarry the person that they betrayed.

You are experiencing much of what I do. It hurts deeply....and then you say to yourself....why do I do such things. I need to move on....and I at one time did move on. I wished him total happiness....and was dating....and am dating a wonderful man for over a year. Just I don't feel inlove with this man....but I do love this man. I do comparisons....and that is so dangerous.

What you are experiencing is normal....and part of moving on and letting go. I will pray for you and for your ability to move on and be strong with the Lord. Blessings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2006
In reply to: crvgrl
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 10:48pm

Well, first day back at work - argh! There has got to be a job out there somewhere where I can have a gin and tonic at 11.00am! Got used to my lazy days in the sun, book in one hand, drink in the other. I never drink, usually only one glass of wine a week (diabetic). But, it was so good to just to say to hell with it and enjoy a little total relaxation. Sitting in a fully air conditioned office, freezing and dreaming of the sun drenched days on the lake.

Enough said!

No news from 24 year old. Been a good 72 hours now. Think that's definitely a "no". Still, feeling incredibly lonely. I know, me, lonely. Somehow I think I've come to an impass. I have always loved being single, LOVED IT! Now, though I feel like it's time, time to find someone great and just settle down.

Who, knows, hopefully this will pass. (please let it pass).

Sometimes I think God will just give up and grant my prayers, probably driving him nuts with my incessant jabbering.

Off to the gym after work, first time back in ages. I usually go running, which I love, but I really should use the gym if I pay for it. Instead of dwelling on things, I'm going to give myself an extreme makeover, over the course of 6 months. Fit, trim, healthy, tanned and tonned and perhaps a good hair cut and colour at the end. Just for me. If I can't find him, I'll just pour all the love into me!

Well, that's my plan.

How was the weekend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
In reply to: crvgrl
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 5:56am

Welcome back to Reality! Don't you just love the first day back from work after a vacation??

Well forget about the 24 year old...and move on to the next...! I totally agree with you about ready to settle down! Your attitude is great though! Focusing on yourself is a great idea! hmm now to get the motivation to start! I'm hoping today to start the daily routine of the treadmill...I find it difficult on some days to fit this in. As I work 2 jobs and on those days work from 7am until 7:30 pm. When I get home...I am ready to just relax and take it easy. I know once I get into routine it will be fine and I actually look forward to it...but it's getting the routine started that I'm having difficulty with! Oh well, like I said..today is the day!

Weird but I've actually been tempted to call my ex. No I haven't heard from him since last week when I got his e-mail. But have been thinking about our time we spent together and miss that. I'm quite sure I just miss the companionship, not necessarily him, so have not called and WILL NOT! I refuse too! haha, notice I'm talking myself out of it!
Like you said, am hoping one of these days, God will just get sick of hearing me talk about it and someone will just show up in my life....aahh just waiting for the day! I actually took my profile off the OLD site yesterday. Too many weirdo's were contacting me. So I figured I would take a break for a while for the site. We will see what happens.

As for the weekend, not too exciting. Did go see the movie, The Pursuit of Happiness. Oh I so recommend it...it was AWESOME!! Also saw Pirates of the Caribean...the second one...it was ok..but nothing I would rush out to rent. Also had a baby shower to go to. So Saturday morning, I spent making a last minute blanket for the shower. The shower was fun, my poor friend though...oh she looked so uncomfortable and is so ready to go at any moment!

Well my week of work begins....as usual can't wait until Friday! It's a 3 day weekend this coming week..so it will be nice! I am taking a course through work, and have a class on Thursday, I have a ton of homework to get done by then, hmm guess I better get one that.

Talk to you soon!

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