Getting him back....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Getting him back....
13
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 3:04pm

Ok, so my boyfriend and I broke up, and the reasons seemed highly lacking, other then he just wanted to be more independent for a while.

Anyway, I'm in a different city for the summer, and so I don't have to see him (which is lucky i guess, easier to get on with my life) although I have very few friends here. And the two I have work different schedules then I do. I joined a gym and I go often, but most of the people there are older (30+). So basically I really can't develop a crush on anyone else, or focus my attention on something else you know?

And I am convinced that we were perfect for each other, and I definitly want to be with him. Ok, so that might have sounded pathetic, but whatever. So I'm wondering, when I get back into town...we will see each other, and I know the day, because we're involved with the same vollunteer organization so should I ignore him, or be really nice, and talk to him and stuff?

Just wondering what you think would make him miss me more...we won't have spoken for 68 days, and won't have seen each other in over 10 weeks.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 2:48pm

Thank you for your response.

I know this is the case. We were in that zone where you sorta have to move on to a new level in the relationship...ie moving in or something. I really don't think he was ready for that. I was/am. He finished school this year and is going into med school in sept (same uni as me).

And a lot of the things I know logically. Like I know that I want someone who wants to be with me. And that's actually what he said...that he want's to *KNOW* like I know that he want's to be with me. I can't really fault him for that. I've seen friend's parent's marriages fall apart/go on the rocks because of seveeral reasons, and one of them was that he felt they married too young. So I want him to be sure, to be with other girls and stuff. I think guys need that more then girls do in general (sometimes).

And I *know* that i'm young and the thing is that I don't even want to get married until i'm 27! I never have. But it's hard to acccept i guess. I just hear all these horror stories from my single friends, and the *single life* doesn't sound appealing to me.

Also he was my first boyfriend. I had one date in high school, but nothing else. I swear other then that one guy no one was interested. So I know I can be happy being single, that's not a problem. Just people saying, you'll find the right one (um...well, my mom didn't...) or the single life is awesome! - um...no it's not.

I have fun with my friends, and by myself, I just want one best friend that will want to spend a lot of time with me i guess. I don't like spending time by myself - it's boring.

Maybe i just need to talk about it more with people, since my friends are probably so tired of it.
THanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 2:50pm

Thanks for the article. I printed it out, will read it after work or on lunch.

I like haveing rules to follow in times of chaos. I read "it's called a breakup..." and they gave tons of rules, which I am following, it's nice to know that people have been through the same thing, and to read books/articles on the subject.

thanks.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 6:12pm

Please don't place these restrictions on yourself:


And I *know* that i'm young and the thing is that I don't even want to get married until i'm 27!


I was supposed to meet my future husband at 22, marry him at 25, have my first kid at 28 and my second at 30.

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