Getting what you want from dating

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Getting what you want from dating
4
Tue, 06-06-2006 - 11:11pm

It's not often that I find a dating article that's geared toward someone who is truly having trouble dating. Most of them target people already in relationships. However, I thought this one had some pretty good insights.


http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=6045&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=562427&menuid=6&GT1=8233


This statement really hit me for some reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 06-06-2006 - 11:59pm

I thought that was quite interesting. Two things stick out to me that she said: one is that in order to find out if someone is sincere, you should be sincere yourself, because your honesty will drive them away if they are insincere. That's a great way of putting it, and I have found this to be true.


The other thing I like is that she said to just pay attention to people's behavior and the way they treat you in order to get a sense of who they really are ... that you don't have to ask them tons of questions to find out. I've also found this to be true. Actions speak much more loudly than words, and so often people will tell you what they think you want to hear.


Thanks for posting the link, cl-shywon!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 8:57am
I just skimmed the article but I did like the part about being defensive. I find that I sometimes have to be when I am explaining why I am still living at home (I'm running a business, and want to get to the point where I can financially afford buying a home) and when guys ask me "how long do you think you'll live at home?" well, I do get very defensive about it. I just had a friend tell me that she had never met anyone with such bad luck with guys as I have, as she looked at some of the guys on match in my area and said they all seemed great. Yeah, on paper they seem great...it's just so frustrating sometimes.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 1:32pm

The paragraph you highlighted fits me pretty well, as well. I'm a pessimist - I know it. And the more times I fail, the more likely I am to just say "screw it, I'm not bothering anymore." Or as one of my friends would say, "The more times you get your A** kicked the more hesitant it makes you in bending over."

I've had my A** kicked quite a few times. I'm tired of bending over.

How do you remain positive when you only know failure?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 2:15pm

I'd like to think that I'm not necessarily a pessimist simply because when everyone else says something can't be done, I'm the one who's going to figure out how it can be done.