Gift registry but no wedding?
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| Thu, 08-31-2006 - 6:54pm |
I am having a housewarming party next week. My coworker responded to my Evite and asked me what I needed for my new place, and added a note that said, "Did you know that people can now register at stores for housewarmings, not just weddings and babies? Weird."
Is it weird? This question came from a 23-year-old woman who married her high school sweetheart three weeks ago. Her new in-laws basically furnished her whole house, plus she received gifts at a shower, bachelorette party and her wedding.
I am 31, have never been married, and have never received these kind of gifts - except for the occasional random gift from my folks. NOT that I expect to, mind you, but why is it that only weddings or births are considered worthy enough life events for gift giving? (ok, and graduations). What about buying your first home (like me - which, by the way, is the hugest thing I've done to date), landing that amazing new job, losing 50 pounds, etc.
Just a thought. I know that we've had similar discussions on the board before, but it occurred to me today that buying a house could very well be the biggest thing I ever do if I never do get married or have kids (although I still hope to do both of those).

I think registries are fine for weddings and births, for some reason those are the events that EVERYTHING thinks to get your something but never knows what, so you register.
I think buying a home is a huge thing but not EVERYONE would feel it necessary to give you a gift, just closer friends & family. Now of course if you hold a housewarming party, people might want to bring gifts but I would think they would opt for gift cards and such.
Here's my other reasoning...older people have homes, and have had their own homes for awhile, maybe they don't feel it's a big enough deal? Younger people may lack the finances to get you a gift, although they are quite proud and will help you in other ways. I would not register for a new home because I would feel like I was 'asking' for presents. I wouldn't want anyone to feel obligated, but rather relaxed and looking forward to a nice evening in my home celebrating with food & drinks.
That's my two cents...congrats though on the house, that's awesome! I look forward to the day when I can purchase one!
I would register if I were you. That could be an extra boost to your spirits after having such a great accomplishment :-) Doesn't it make you feel proud to own your own place being a single woman. There are not too many of us go-getters out there so here's to us!
Well, first
Just to clarify - I'm not planning on registering for gifts for my housewarming. I don't expect presents from anyone - even family and close friends.
I was just trying to make a sociological comment. This gift giving business is all about tradition, it seems.
Plus, the wedding gift tradition came about when young people were setting up house, and needed new thigns for their home. Someone buying a new home - even if they are single (actually maybe more so, because they have one income) - is in the same position. Even someone moving into his or her first apartment alone is in that position. I think they should really be in the same category.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Yes, I am very proud. Two years ago, I had broken up with my boyfriend of five years, had to leave grad school, lost my job, etc. I was in a bad spot. To look at how far I've come in those two years is amazing to me, and I could not feel more proud to be a homeowner who worked to get there.
The clincher for me was when my mom told me that, back in 1965 when she and my dad were buying a house, banks didn't even consider a woman's salary to qualify for a loan. When I heard that, I knew I had to do it.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Just for discussion - why?
I'm starting to think it's tacky for people to regsiter for wedding gifts.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
>>Why isn't it weird that when you get married you can go to the store and make a "Christmas List" of all the things you already use, just in a cheaper version? <<
Exactly what I've been thinking. I love to celebrate people's special occasions, but I cannot tell you how many bridal and baby showers I've been to in recent years. Plus weddings. For the weddings, plus showers, plus bachelorette party - that equals three gifts to celebrate the same occasion/life event.
Baby showers make a lot more sense to me. That's for a brand-new life - for someone who starts out with literally nothing. They need everything.
Most weddings these days are for people who have been on their own for awhile and already do have all the "stuff."
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I feel it is tacky because to me, it just feels like the person is expecting a gift. It's gone from being acceptible to bringing a nice bottle of wine to help celebrate to now having the obligation to go to their registry and making sure you get them the cappacino maker or a place settings from Crate and Barrell they want. When is enough, enough??? I am single. I live on my own and I already have to buy shower gifts on my own. I have to pay for private bachelorette parties on my own. I have to dish out an acceptible amount of cash for weddings where you are expected to give the bride and groom about $100 just for yourself, which would be more if you brought a date. Not to mention about a year later when that same couple gets pregnant. Then there is another shower and then another gift when the baby arrives. Mulitply that by all your friends, family, and co-workers and I know now why I am broke.
I guess it is a personal judgement call, but for me, I would never do it. I have everything I need for my place and if I were to throw a house-warming party, all I would ask is for the guests to help with their choice of drinks. But that is just me....