Giving up - compromise
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Giving up - compromise
| Sat, 05-24-2008 - 5:34pm |
Lately it's reached the point of giving in-giving up - can't even imagine how it's ever going to happen. I don't even know how to feel any more. It all seems so hopeless.
There's a man at work I see occasionally - occasional b/c he lives out of town and only comes occasionally to cover -

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I am moved by your emails, white satin.
You sound depressed. I know when I am depressed I can't imagine having what I had before, even though things can change very quickly in life.
It's funny...I've had sex and romance in my life many times over, yet because I am not having it now and do not have someone I love, it's hard to imagine having it again.
White_Satin,
Hmmm ... the fact that you have used the word 'compromise' isn't a good sign. I agree with Carlygirl76 that you shouldn't lead him on if you're not interested. He sounds like a genuinely, nice guy and he deserves better than that. You're not doing him any favours. Attraction isn't about physicality, it's about the warmth of someone's smile, the height of their generosity and the depth of their character. Instead of compromising, perhaps you should assess what is really important in a relationship; looks or character? At the same time, you shouldn't pretend an attraction you don't really feel.
www.30isthenewblack.com
Hi carlygirl,
"We seem to be somewhat similar in that guys we like usually do not like us"
That's funny in a introspective bittersweet way. That's why I'm still single. Guys I like don't like me and I don't like what I find.
Hi thirty,
I don't know if I'm attracted to him. I guess a little bit and it's certainly mostly b/c of
White Satin,
Awesome! I'm so glad you're going out with him. My gut says give this guy a chance. At the least, you will be friends. I know a lot of people who gave someone a chance and got to know them over a longer period rather than trust that initial attraction which doesn't always last. I personally think I've been really shallow in the past (I'm not referring to you but to me) and I think that I should be more open to the possibility of dating someone who isn't my ideal in looks. I have to draw a line at the good body but that's more about being someone who shares my philosophies of keeping fit :-) Keep us posted. You know I live my life vicariously through the board :-p
www.30isthenewblack.com
White satin,
I have read many of your posts in the past.
As to how to keep a man interested, all I can say is to be yourself.
I agreed with you that good looks only opened the doors, it takes more than looks to sustain a relationship.
I am currently dating a guy who does not have the most handsome face but he has
Dear all,
Can't say I didn't try. I least I know. The date was pretty nondescript. I don't want to bore you with the details but I just want to present them here so you can advise me whether it was me that didn't know how to talk on a date so I can learn for future references. Please note this conversation occured in a very noisy place and I don't remember the exact sequence just random talk.
We worked 'til midnight last friday and
You took a risk, that is good.
Part of "getting out there" and risking there will be some not so great experiences.
I think this was a sign that you could trust your instincts more?
Hi lv2breathe,
I tried to learn from this experience so there was something good that came from this afterall. You see, my dating record was so dismal these days that I got to thinking I must not be doing something right. a week after my date w/ him I went to dinner with a man from an online dating site and this man tried to kiss me at the end of the night, but then no phone call after that. What the heck went wrong here?
Even when I go out with men I think SHOULD like me, they don't. The difference is when I'm not so enthusiastic and attracted to someone initially the loss wasn't a big deal but what if I was attracted to him? I saw this as a practice date to prepare me for the time when someone better comes along.
So I talked to a friend and my therapist about this. True, he was not a forthcoming and open person. However, despite that a superior communication tactic would be to learn about him w/o making sound personal and just take his lead. For instance, he talked about something as superficial as John McCain. I could still ask him for his opionion about varioius aspects of John McCain: his younger, pretty wife. Why he chose to be a republican.
Well, live and learn. Even at 41. Kinda depressing b/c I thought I should have mastered this by now. Wish me luck.
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