Goals for the year

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Goals for the year
10
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 10:12am

Ok, so it's the new year--what would you like to happen this year?  I don't want to put it as resolutions cause you can't always control what you want to happen.

For me, it would be a job most of all.  Not only am I not making enough money but I really can't stand my boss any more--his personality and approach to work has really changed in the past year and he has become a person I don't respect any more (not that I did that much before because he's basically lazy, but now it's worse).  I did start applying for jobs and got 3 job interviews recently but I haven't heard any feedback one way or the other.

Of course I would like a BF too but the job is more practical unless I get a rich BF.  lol  I was thinking that I didn't have one date in the whole year of 2012--I'm not really that upset about it, since I made more friends and started going out more, esp. since my son got his driver's license & a car so that gave me more freedom to go out and not have to worry about who was going to drive him places.  So it's been fun.  But at least in 2011 I got a few dates here & there although they didn't amount to anything.  It would just be nice to have a date once in a while.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 10:38am

Hi Music

Personally I live one day at a time when I remember and try not to set goals too far ahead...

I will though and have been doing this on and off take care of myself and go back to my healthy eating and drinking water and hopefully I can find another form of exercise besides walking.. I mean its so cold that I hate walking although if I bundle up like I used to I can do it..

I also am continuing on my quest studying and learning and exploring all avenues of metaphysics and I actually enjoy it and its so fascinating to me... along with I am still doing my EFT (emotional freedom technique).. I feel its working sometimes and then its not but I will continue on finding new modalities to help me along in my journey of self discovery..................

Not sure about the dating thing as I have given up and its pretty challenging so I will just go out and have fun and maybe God willing he might put a nice man in my path.. If not then such is life..

Of course I am always on the path of becoming a better person although I fall short alot and hope God forgives me.. and always looking for work and finding other alternatives for living arrangements ...

Rock On Sister!!!

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 4:35pm

This is the first year in a long time that I haven't come up with formal goals. Last year I kept it really simple, and really kept those thoughts in mind through the year, the biggest one being "connection."

I do have some career goals. But, I haven't set any personal goals such as "I will date X number of men this year" or "I will have a boyfriend in 2013." I think when I get specific about meeting a man, it just depresses me when December 31 rolls around and I still haven't met him.

But, yeah, I'd like to make more money this year and have a boyfriend! Oh, and more clothes.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 4:59pm
I want the 15 pounds I need to get rid of GONE! I've been saying it for awhile. I want I finally stay motivated for long enough. It takes me so long to lose weight (5 pounds took three months!) that I get frustrated. We're starting biggest loser at school on Monday, so hopefully having a team will keep me motivated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 7:23pm

I am still working on a vision board from my prior post, but in terms of goals, I have 3 for the year:

1)Become confident in my professional skills (at a new job that I start next week!)  That means reading, webinars, networking, and just practicing.

2) Move to a place which makes my commute shorter and dive into the community there. 

3) Rekindle my love of physical activity.  It's not about losing weight per se, but I want to be stronger and healthier.  For now, my goal is walking 3x/wk but I will try running again in the spring.  I also will go to yoga 2x/month and do a home practice on the weeks I don't go to a class.

Right now, finding a BF falls below these goals in my list.  I do hope to meet new people in general with a new job and eventual move, and in the course of that I am certainly open to dating.  But I don't feel settled enough right now to do online dating, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2012
Thu, 01-03-2013 - 7:43pm

As stated in another post...I want sex.

I have also applied for a position at work that would increase my salary and be a bit of change of scenery. (still cooking)  Even if I can't pass the test, at least I have made a move forward.

I am going to continue to grow/repair the r/s with my kids.  Much progress had been made over the past 6months and I would really love it to continue.  

I am going to continue my forward path by continuing to update my living surroundings with things that are pleasing to me and not hand me downs.

These aren't really resolutions...just a continuation of where I have been going.  No more standing still!  Time to move forward (and upward whenever possible!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Fri, 01-04-2013 - 7:08pm

My theme for this year is Letting Go. At the end of 2012, I realized that I really hold on too much to things - people who are currently in my life and bad memories as well as lifestyle habits such as playing with my phone constantly with email, Internet, facebook and not getting enough sleep.

I've often vented about issues such as my unhappiness over my appearance. The unhappiness stems from negative reactions from others over my admittedly thick glasses, my teeth (although no one has actually said anything to my face over my teeth except my parents of course and they're the ones who always had money for big tvs but not dentists!).

Today, I took a big step in letting go and wore my glasses voluntarily instead of contacts. Normally, I only wear them if I'm waiting for contacts or if my eyes hurt or my contacts refuse to stay in my eyes.  I feel so empowered and happy for doing this. It's funny, I've worn them in the past of course but for the first time, I didn't feel like hiding and running. I felt like I could hold my head up high. I am definitely going to keep to my goal for this quarter and wear them once a week, even at work. By the end of the year, I plan on getting the nerve to wear them while going out with people- something I truly have never done.

At Music-I totally understand over why work has to be a priority over BF unless it's a rich BF. People truly don't get how much harder things are when you're single and relying on one income instead of two.

My parents are absolutely driving me crazy because marriage is the ONLY thing on their mind. I feel bad for them that people are probably criticizing them since my sister and I are the only ones not married and my dad's siblings are all grandparents or about to be grandparents. But they seem to think that fixing my appearance will all of a sudden magically make me "desirable" and "marriageable." I meant it when I told them that even when/if I get my appearance all fixed up and all of a sudden the same parents/their sons rejecting me now accept me, I'm going to reject them! I'm not good enough for these people right now and while that hurts, I can accept it. But I would lose all of my self-respect if I let these people get away with everything by accepting them later on when they finally accept me. It's not right and I won't allow myself to be treated this badly and just forget everything. Character means far more to me than appearances for obvious reasons!

It's sad and ridiculous that I should feel forced to shell out close to a grand for high index glasses mostly so that society would treat me better (the other reason is to let my corneas have a break). It should be for me but it's not entirely. And it's the same with the rest of my appearance. I am trying to let go and I am actually going to the dentist on Monday (terrified to death since I've never done this) but again, it should be for me and me only but it's not. I will be very disappointed if after spending so much on "fixing" me up  I end up still being alone and with no boyfriend.

Letting Go will also entail cutting off communication - with my parents, it's going to be out of absolute necessity bc I can't continue having the same conversations/fights and I don't want to continually disappoint them by "not having news." They don't seem to realize just how bad I feel over my non-existent love life and how much worse I feel about myself after hanging up the phone with them.

With family, it will come as a surprise to them - I really hate that because I'm single, everyone expects me to remember them more than they remember me because I'm not as busy as the marrieds with kids cousins or the coupled up cousins. I am a loving caring person and my nieces and nephews mean the world to me since I don't have kids of my own so I tend to remember everyone's birthdays though certain cousins never remember mine and I don't call them for theirs. This year, I am letting them go - will remember the birthdays in my heart but will no longer call or send FB messages. I've got to send the message that they can't take me for granted anymore. I've put up with it for far too long.

I'm hoping I can let go of it all and really truly start afresh. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 01-04-2013 - 8:21pm

Appearance is a tricky thing.  If you have bad teeth and have them fixed, it shouldn't necessarily be for the purpose of finding a man, but if it will make you feel better about your appearance, then I say go for it.  And you shouldn't feel bad if you get your teeth fixed and don't magically get a BF--you'll still feel better when you look in the mirror, and as someone in a professional job, I think that your appearance is also important for your career as well.  I don't know if you remember, but I'm a lawyer too.  My boss is ultra casual at work cause he never goes to court, which is fine, but last year he was wearing clothes that were just gross to work--I had to tell him not to wear ripped jeans because I can't imagine how he can project the image of a succesful law firm if he's wearing clothes with holes in them.

I think you should just tell your parents that the subject of boyfriends is off limits--you want to relate to them just as a person and talk about other things and not feel that all they care about is marryingyou off--and that every time they bring it up, you are just going to end the conversation or the visit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Sun, 01-06-2013 - 1:06pm
This year I'm focusing on a number of things, but I'd say the top three would be continuing to do well in my graduate program, continuing to maintain my weight loss, and becoming happily coupled.
Follow me to Coping with Job Loss

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2012
Sun, 01-06-2013 - 11:07pm

I want to find more time to spend doing things I like, and of course the money to go with it :D

Travel more this year, go camping and parachuting.

My goals are simple but fun and fulfilling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2012
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 4:32pm

I hope that all of you reach your goals in the new year.

LOL @ you Musiclover, hard decision on the rich BF or the job. I love to work, but having money to do as I please would be a wonderful thing.

@Freeatlast - I too need to drink more water, and make myself get on the exerciser since I agree with you it is too cold to go out atm.

@Florida girl - hoping you the best in your wishes.

@Shywon - I could lose 15 lbs too, have you hit that plateau people talk about? I have recently put on weight, think it is the age thing, used to have such a high metabolism, I think it has gone into hibernation....sigh

@Soconfused - Nice! You seem to have a nice start to your vision board. I would like to walk more too, but it is either too cold in the morning before work, or too dark after work. I live a bit rural so I would have to take a flashlight and one of the big dogs with me, and that is more of "him" dragging me to move quicker then I am wanting to go.

@HthrWhtvr - Hoping you get the position you applied for, I do love to cook and miss that I don't get to experiment as often as I would like to. Congrats on the progress with your kids and I am hoping for more progress for you this year :D

@Benilaw - Letting go is something I always strive to do, and one day I hope to be able to say that I did it and mean it. Your post is full of insights that hit many of us spot on.

@Ladybookworm - Good luck with the graduate program, hope we all lose the weight we want to, and wishing all those finding that person that means the world to them. What..nothing about how many books a week? lol

@Happyfifties - Oh, can I go too?