Going with the flow

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Going with the flow
5
Tue, 10-14-2003 - 11:04pm

Are you a flexible person?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Tue, 10-14-2003 - 11:43pm
Absolutely! When I was younger, I tried to make plans for my life and stick strictly to them. Over time, I discovered that great things often come along - they're often not the things that I planned on, but they work out just as well if not better.

So now if something doesn't go according to my "plan" (to the extent that I have one :-), I wait and see what happens - and it's almost always great! I'm so much happier and have less stress this way.

ginger

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 12:01pm
I am flexible so long as I feel that my needs are being acknowledged/respected - I am not a door mat. I also don't change my values based on the situation "well I usually wouldn't have sex on the first date but he was so cute and I was so drunk, so . . ' - not me. Lately, I went on a second date with a man with kids, have been having sex outside of an exclusive relationship (but we love each other, are sexually monogamous and I feel completely respected by him and it is absolutely a mutual decision - I am not settling for this in order to be with him - he would be date me and be with me no matter what I decided re sex, it is just an on again off again situation), and that's about it for now .. . . I am flexible when it makes sense to me - not to be "crazy" and i also don't stick to rules rigidly if they are no longer making sense - however my basic values don't change - I have never tried an illegal drug and likely never will - for example - I am extremely ethical in my work as a lawyer and no amount of $$ or prestige could ever change that, I am a Jew and would never convert or ask anyone else to convert for me, and the things I do and how I act are guided by my humanistic sense of goodness and right and wrong as well as my obligations as a Jew. Those don't change with the wind, or with my particular mood.

Good question!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 12:26pm
I am definitely a flexible person. Some things come up and can't be changed and if I can't go with the flow then I will be left out in the cold. Sometimes I just don't feel like doing what I planned on doing. So I do something else. I try to stick to plans that I make with others or for others. I feel it is disrespectful to not stick to those plans. But I planned on spending a quiet evening at home and some friends called to see a movie I don't see anything wrong with changing them.

The last thing I did that was crazy or out of the ordinary is when my fiance and I broke up. He landed in the hospital shortly after and he didn't want me to come see him or check on him and that was really hard because I cared about him, so I jumped in my car on a Tuesday night and drove to my mothers 600 miles away. I called my boss and she was incredible about it and gave me the rest of the week off for vacation. It was really good for me because it gave me time to get perspective and gave me a chance to heal a little. I normally plan trips and save the money for them. They aren't fun unless you can afford to do them.

Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 1:31pm
I think the only time I'm really "inflexible" is when things happen and I know they're gonna cost me $$ I hadn't planned on spending, or had ear-marked for something else (usually something "fun"). Then it really hacks me...

Ash

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 12:23pm

No kidding! I know what that's like.